The Chris Casey Experience

Heroes, Part Two: Magic & Mayhem

Mage

Masters of the elephants elements, Mages are all about those spells. Gimme them spells. Spells! So many spells! Aahahahaha! They start with 10 HP and a d6 Hit Die. They’re proficient with cloth armor and blades, staves, and wands, not that they’ll use them much as weapons. Mages have INT and WIL as their Key Stats, gaining advantage on INT saves and disadvantage on STR saves. Poindexters.

But of course that’s all secondary to magic. Mages start out with Elemental Spellcasting, which gives them knowledge of all the cantrips from the Fire, Lightning, and Ice spell lists. (I say “all,” but there are only two cantrips on each spell list.)

Cantrips are about where you’d expect, power-wise. Fire cantrips are Flame Dart (1d10 damage at 8 range, inflicts the Smoldering condition on crit) and Heart’s Fire (give one nearby ally an extra Action). Ice cantrips are Ice Lance (1d6 damage at 12 range, gives the Slowed condition on hit) and Snowblind (1d6 damage within reach, inflicts the Blinded condition on hit). Lightning cantrips are Zap (2d8 damage at 12 range, hits the caster instead on a miss) and Overload (2d8 damage to everyone within 2 squares, but the caster must have the Charged condition first, which they get if they’ve received Lightning damage within the past 10 turns).

Notice that you don’t add any of the caster’s stats to a cantrip’s damage output. You get what you get. Cantrips slowly grow as the caster levels up (Flame Dart gains +5 damage every 5 levels, for instance), but that barely keeps up with the foes they’ll face.

At level 2, Mages unlock all Tier 1 spells and awaken to their mana pool. This is equal to their INT x 3 + level. Spells usually cost their tier level in mana to cast, and can be Upcast for more mana when the Mage achieves higher tiers. Upcasting usually gives greater range or increased damage. Mana is fully restored on a Safe Rest.

Right away, we see there are no spell slots and no spell memorization. Hooray, I say. In return, each magic type only has one spell per Tier. Also, each spell type may skip tiers. They all have spells up to Tier 5, but Ice spells (for instance) don’t add any new spells until Tier 8. Fire spells go from 5-7-9. Lightning jumps from 6 to 9. So you always get something for reaching a new Tier, but you don’t always get everything. The Stones wrote a song about this.

While there aren’t a lot of spells, there are too many for me to list without boring you to tears (more than usual). So here’s a sampler:

Ignite (Fire Tier 1): One nearby target with the Smoldering condition bursts into flame, taking 4d10 damage.

Cryosleep (Ice Tier 3): Creatures in a 2×2 area nearby are dazed and must make a STR save. If they miss, they fall asleep for two turns.

Ride the Lightning (Lightning Tier 6): Teleport up to 12 squares, potentially swapping places with a willing creature. Anyone adjacent to their landing place takes d88 damage. If they survive, they must make a STR save or be thrown back 3 spaces, land on their butt, and be deafened for a day.

Each spell list also has three Utility Spells. At levels 3, 6, and 14, Mages learn all three of these cantrips from one chosen list. Examples include Ice Disk (Tenser’s Floating Disk with the serial scratched off), Kindle (either ignite a small unheld item nearby or buy an e-book create a small visual illusion), and Spark Buddy (conjure a tiny electrical helper entity for an hour which can fetch small items, open unlocked doors, illuminate small areas, etc.).

At level 3, Mages get their subclass. An Invoker of Control can Demand Control and choose from a short list of effects: I Insist (cast a cantrip for free), Elemental Affliction (impose Charged, Smoldering, or Slowed on a nearby foe), No (one creature of the player’s choosing cannot harm another creature of their choosing during its next turn), or Lose Control (do all three, but the GM chooses the targets). The Mage can only do each option once per combat or until they’ve exhausted all the other options. At higher levels, this subclass can learn one spell and cantrip from the Necrotic school, automatically succeed at a failed save once per Safe Rest, and ultimately do each Demand Control option twice per combat.

Alternatively, they can be an Invoker of Chaos. This garners them Force of Chaos, which lets them cast spells for 1 less mana at will, with the caveat that if it crits, the GM gets to roll on the Chaos Table. Players ostensibly aren’t supposed to see the Chaos Table, but that’s kind of a gentlemen’s agreement. Suffice to say it runs the gamut from very bad (you turn into a squirrel and your main priority is nuts) to really great (your skin turns to diamond and you can Defend for free). At higher levels, the Chaos Mage can learn a spell and cantrip from the Wind school, Invoke Chaos twice and choose which one to keep once per Safe Rest, and other interesting weird stuff.

Every few levels, Mages get Spellshaper abilities. These allow them to spend extra mana to customize their spellcasting with effects like Echo Casting (cast a spell on two targets for 2x mana cost), Precise Casting (ignore one target in an area effect spell per 1 extra mana spent), and Elemental Transmutation (change the damage type of a spell to another type).

If they don’t like where they’re at, they can Study! During a Safe Rest, study arcane books or get tutored by a high-level Mage to rearrange their options for free.

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Oathsworn

Astride the border between being holier-than-thou and shoving a sword through monsters’ guts stands the Oathsworn. Starting with 17 HP and a d10 Hit Die, they have proficiency with all armor types and STR-type weapons (hammers, swords, glaives, etc.). Key Stats are STR and WIL, with advantage on STR saves and disadvantage on DEX saves.

These guys are Lancelot from the get-go. At level 1 they gain the abilities Radiant Judgment (roll 2d6 Judgment Dice when attacked, deal that amount as radiant damage on their next attack if they hit) and Lay on Hands (gain a pool of HP healing equal to five times their level; as an action, transfer any amount of that via touch to another target). Judgment Dice, by the way, slowly increase over time to 3d20 by level 14.

At level 2 they pick up the cantrips and Tier 1 spells of the Radiant school and gain a smallish mana pool equal to their WIL + level. The Radiant spells they start with are Rebuke (1d6 damage to a nearby foe, ignoring armor, x2 if it’s undead), True Strike (give someone advantage on their next attack), and Heal (heal someone by 1d6 + STR or WIL, whichever’s higher, at the cost of one action and 1 mana). Oathsworn get the Zealot ability at this time, with which they can spend mana on a regular weapon attack and either deal +5 radiant damage or decrease the enemy’s armor by a step (we’ll talk about enemy armor when we get to the GM’s Guide). They also get advantage on Influence checks when they’re telling the truth, and disadvantage when they lie.

At level 3, Oathsworn choose a subclass between Oath of Vengeance and Oath of Refuge. Both oaths give them an aura which extends up to 4 spaces away from them. Vengeance types call this their Aura of Zeal; if an enemy is attacked inside it, it triggers their Radiant Judgment if it hasn’t been set off already. Refuge Oathsworn have an Aura of Refuge, and can perform an Interpose Reaction for any ally who is attacked inside their aura. Normally a character can only Interpose within two squares, so this is a bit of an upgrade.

The Oath of Vengeance also gives abilities that increase or max out Judgment Dice. The Oath of Refuge increases the blocking power of shields by the Oathsworn’s WIL score, and at higher levels will prevent anyone within their aura from dropping below 1 HP, instead marking off a Wound directly. Characters still croak at 6 Wounds, of course, so they need to stay wary.

Also at level 3, Oathsworn start gaining Sacred Decrees. These include abilities like Blinding Aura (once per encounter, blind all enemies within their aura. Makes sense), Reliable Justice (roll Judgment Dice with advantage), and Stand Fast, Friends! (all allies gain the Oathsworn’s STR+WIL as temporary HP at the start of combat).

To swap out abilities, they must Serve Selflessly during a Safe Rest. It’s pretty much what it sounds like.

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Shadowmancer

Shadowmancers are the mall goths of the fantasy adventure world, all dying their hair black and wearing eyeliner and using phrases like “I’ll put some dirt in your eye” and “Dig on this.” They’ve made an unholy pact with Something Man Was Not Supposed to Know and use that eldrich power to fart around with shadow monsters.

They start with 13 HP and a d8 Hit Die, just like Hunters, with INT and DEX as their Key Stats. They get proficiency with cloth armor and blades and wands, with advantage on INT saves and disadvantage on WIL.

These folks get a couple of unique Necrotic cantrips at level 1, Shadow Blast (1d12 + higher of INT and DEX) and Summon Shadows. Notice the emerging theme. The latter spell summons one Shadow Minion per action spent and/or lets them command all their summoned minions to move and attack for 1d12 damage. These minions use the same rules as monster minions: 1 HP, can’t crit, and multiples attacking the same target are treated as a single [group]d12 attack. They can’t act unless the ‘Mancer spends an action, and vanish instantly after combat ends.

At level 2, the ‘Mancer’s infernal master grants them knowledge of Necrotic cantrips and Tier 1 spells. However, Shadowmancers don’t have mana pools, instead stealing power from their patron. The patron will put up with this DEX times per Safe Rest. After that, they’ll knock off half the Shadowmancer’s max HP as payment. Tough but … unfair.

As they level up, they gain higher tier spells as you’d expect. However, they can only cast spells at their highest unlocked tier. For instance, a ‘Mancer who unlocks Tier 3 spells will always involuntarily Upcast Tier 1 and 2 spells to this level. This isn’t always a bad thing, since they don’t have to worry about mana, but there’s no downshifting or “just knocking off one die of damage as a warning” or whatever. All gas, no brakes, that’s the Shadowmancer way.

At level 3, THE PACT IS SEALED. This nets them a subclass and a Lesser Invocation. The subclasses are Pact of the Red Dragon (access to Fire spells at the same tier as Necrotic, shadow minions become flaming wyrmlings which can inflict Smoldering, cast a couple of Fire spells without their patron’s ire, etc.) and Pact of the Abyssal Depths (access to Ice spells, minions become nightfrost beings who give the ‘Mancer temp HP when they would crit, regular attacks inflict Slowed and/or generate generous amounts of temp HP, etc.).

That Lesser Invocation I mentioned comes from a list of Invocations split into Lesser and Greater. By level 18, they’ll have three Lesser and five Greater Invocations under their belt. The Lesser ones include Abhorrent Speech (communicate with aberrations and undead), Gaze of Two Minds (touch a creature and experience through its senses while concentrating), and My Favored Pet (one shadow minion can tolerate the ‘Mancer’s existence outside of combat and hangs around like a creepy sidekick). Greater Invocations are powers like Hungering Shadows (if a minion would crit on an attack, instead the Shadowmancer can cast one tiered spell for free), Shadow Rush (instead of rolling a minion’s attack, they just do max damage and die), and Vengeful Blast (when a minion dies, immediately cast Shadow Blast as a reaction).

To switch powers mid-game, the Shadowmancer must Supplicate to their patron during a Safe Rest. A little groveling never hurt anybody. The patron may ask for something in return depending on their mood.

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Shepherd

The temptation is to just write Shepherds off as clerics, and they do fill a similar role, but they’re a little more nuanced than that. They get 17 HP and a d10 Hit Die, pulling up even to Oathsworn and Commanders. They get proficiency with mail armor and shields, STR-type weapons, and wands. Their Key Stats are WIL and STR, and they get advantage on WIL saves and disadvantage on DEX.

At level 1, Shepherds hop on both the Radiant and Necrotic spell tracks by gaining all their cantrips, plus a unique cantrip called Searing Light. This beam either heals [WIL]d8 HP to a Dying creature nearby or inflicts [WIL]d8 damage to undead or any enemy with half hit points or lower. 

I haven’t talked much about Radiant or Necrotic spells. Radiant spells have names like Condemn (Tier 4, damage 30 against an enemy that crit the character or any allies last turn, next attack against that enemy has advantage) and Vengeance (Tier 5, 1d100 damage to a creature that attacked a Dying ally last turn). You know, real Wrath of God type stuff. Necrotic all come at you with Ye Lyvelyest Awfulleness, doing things like Withering Touch (cantrip, 1d12 damage and target is considered undead for one round, making them extra vulnerable to several Radiant spells) or Gangrenous Burst (Tier 5, 3d20 damage to all damaged creatures nearby, half on STR save). The conceit for Shepherds is that they will defend their friends by any means necessary. Even really gross means.

Level 2 Shepherds unlock Tier 1 spells and the mana to cast them, in the amount of WIL x 3 + level. They also get a unique Tier 1 spell, Lifebinding Spirit. A small-to-tiny intangible spirit companion springs into existence and follows the Shepherd around. What this looks like is up to the Shepherd; it could be a dog, rabbit, winged fairy, Mr. ZIP, whatever.

This spirit can heal friends or attack enemies nearby for 1d6+WIL healing/damage, respectively. Once it heals as many times as the mana spent to summon it, it vanishes.

They get a subclass at level 3, deciding between Luminary of Mercy, upgrading most healing spells, or Luminary of Malice, upgrading most harmful spells. At level 5 they get their first Sacred Grace ability, which includes Assist Me, My Friend! (add the Lifebinding Spirit’s damage to their first melee attack each round), Illuminate Soul (one creature selected by the Shepherd starts to glow, and all attacks against it have either advantage or disadvantage, Shepherd’s choice), and Vengeful Spirit (their spirit turns into a raging vortex which damages all enemies nearby, lasting for as long as it had healing charges left, then vanishes). A Shepherd maxes out at four Sacred Graces by level 14.

To switch out options, a Shepherd may Serve for a day during a Safe Rest. This is somehow different from the Oathsworn’s Serve Selflessly. Or maybe not. I dunno.

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Next time: Three and out

Heroes

Dibs on Masi Oka … okay, fine, I’ll be Greg Grunberg again

Okay, I lied. I was going to move on to the GM’s Guide, but controversy erupted after my review of the Core Rules. So let’s start in on the Heroes (classes) book instead, after which my agenda for this switch will become clear.

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Berserker

These guys are just pure DPS. Their whole schtick is killing bad guys before they have a chance to kill them, or raise their weapons, or blink. They get the highest starting HP (20) and Hit Dice (d12) in the game, which is good, since they have no armor proficiency. Berserkers’ Key Stats are STR and DEX, and they get advantage on STR saves and disadvantage on INT saves.

At the cost of one action per turn, they can Rage: roll 1d4 (the “Fury Die”) and add that as a damage bonus to every STR-based attack. They can have as many Fury Dice active as the higher of their STR and DEX, and lose them all if they don’t attack in a turn or drop to 0 HP. They can also expend an active Fury Die to reduce an incoming attack by STR + DEX. At level 2, they roll a Fury Die for free each turn if they’re already Raging. At level 5, they roll two dice at the start of their Rage. Fury Dice slowly increase in size as they gain levels, up to d12s at level 17.

At level 3, a Berserker can choose a subclass. The basic rules list two subclasses for each class, which each add new abilities at levels 3, 7, 11, and 15. The Berserker’s are Path of the Mountainheart, which increases their Fury/Rage Dice defense by the amount on the sacrificed die, among other resilience features; and Path of the Red Mist, which maxes out their Fury Dice when they crit or kill something, allows them to do opportunity attack Reactions the moment an enemy enters their range coming or going, and just makes them better at all that kill maim murder business.

Every two levels from 4 through 16, Berserkers get to pick one ability from their Savage Arsenal. This list of special moves include Mighty Endurance, which increases Wounds to 10 (!); Whirlwind, which lets them attack every enemy within the reach of their weapon at once; or Rampage, which allows them to apply the same damage from one attack to a second target without Disadvantage for the cost of one action. There are 12 Savage Arsenal abilities, but a character will only have seven slots by the end.

If they find that their current setup isn’t quite working for them, they can invoke Wrath & Ruin. Perform a notable act of destruction or epic feat of strength during a Safe Rest and they can change their Savage Arsenal choices for free. Most classes have this option with a different name and trigger condition.

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The Cheat

Wait, I mean

These are the rogues, the thieves, the lonesome liars, the midnight riders, the ramblers, the gamblers, the backbiters. Cheats start with 10 HP and d6 Hit Dice, with proficiency with leather armor and DEX weapons. They have advantage on DEX saves and disadvantage on WIL. Key Stats are DEX and INT.

A large percentage of The Cheat’s abilities involve structured cheating. Like, meta-game, dice-related cheating. One of the level 1 abilities they gain is Vicious Opportunist, which lets them change the Primary Die while attacking a distracted opponent to whatever they want, once per turn. If they change it to the max, it even crits. (So why wouldn’t you?) Pair The Cheat with someone good at taunting and watch those enemies melt away.

If they pick the standard loadout, The Cheat begins the game with two daggers (1d4+DEX and throwable). This gives them advantage on one attack per turn. It doesn’t have to be the first attack either, so they could attack twice and use this advantage to cancel the disadvantage of their second attack.

One of the interesting things about d4 weapons is how they have the highest probability to both fail AND crit. Now they do have to crit several times to reach the damage potential of something like a Greataxe, but there are abilities, particularly spells, that confer special effects on a crit. So who would a hypothetical Mage rather cast that spell on, the 10%-critting Berserker, or the 25%-critting Cheat? On the other hand, could they possibly be wasting their mana on the 75%-hitting Cheat versus the 90%-hitting Berserker? Decisions, decisions.

On top of all that, any time The Cheat crits, they add 1d6 to the attack’s damage in Nimble’s version of Sneak Attack. Sneak Attack damage increases every few levels, up to +3d20 sneak damage at level 17.

At level 2, The Cheat really comes into their own. Once per round, they can either Move once or Hide for free; rolling less than 10 on Initiative becomes a 10; they can change one skill check, of any type, to 10+INT once per day; and they have advantage on checks involving betting or games of chance. Just don’t get caught.

The Cheat selects their subclass at level 3. One choice is Tools of the Silent Blade, with abilities like turning effectively invisible when an enemy dies from a Sneak Attack, gaining advantage on all Sneak Attacks when at full health, and (at level 15) straight killing anything that has fewer max HP than them on a crit. The other choice is Tools of the Scoundrel, which has Pocket Sand. There are more abilities, sure, but … Pocket Sand.

Scoundrels get other stuff too, I guess. Low Blow has them spend two extra actions to incapacitate an enemy for a turn, and taunt them to boot. Sweet Talk gives advantage on all rolls to influence NPCs until they meet them a second time, at which point they have disadvantage on all influence rolls.

The Cheat’s special moves, which they get every even level from 4 to 18, are called Underhanded Abilities. “Creative” Accounting lets them steal up to INT actions from their next turn, every other turn. How’d YOU Get Here?! lets them “teleport” up to four spaces to a spot adjacent to a Distracted enemy and hit ‘em. If they crit, they can “teleport” another four spaces in any direction. Trickshot makes thrown weapons return to their hand at the end of the turn; on a hit, it will travel up to two more squares to strike a second enemy for half damage.

During a Safe Rest, they can Talk Shop, spending a night swapping stories with other thugs, thieves, and rogues, and switch in different Underhanded Abilities for free.

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Commander

Commanders bonk people on the head while inspiring other people to also bonk people on the head. They have d10 Hit Dice and start with 17 HP, tying with Oathsworn for second place. Commanders gain proficiency with all martial weapon types and mail armors, advantage on STR checks and disadvantage on DEX, and STR and WIL as their Key Stats.

These guys have one big list of Combat Abilities divided into two medium-sized lists, Commander’s Orders and Combat Tactics. The main difference is that Combat Tactics take advantage of Combat Dice, a Rage-like ability Commanders start receiving every even level from level 4 to 14. They begin each combat with [STR] number of these dice and expend them to perform Tactics. Many Combat Tactics add extra damage to maneuvers equal to what they roll on a Combat Die, but some just require them to give a die up to trigger the action.

The first Order they receive is Coordinated Strike! at level 1. This gives them and one nearby ally a free attack, up to [INT] times per Safe Rest. As they level, they’ll continue to accumulate Combat Abilities, including things like I Can Do This All Day! (once per encounter, if they drop to 0 HP, expend one Hit Die immediately and regain that many HP), Commanding Presence (spend a Combat Die to shout a one- or two-word command at a monster, who will [if they understand it and fail a WIL save] obey it until the end of their next turn), and Move It! Move It! (give themselves and one ally advantage on the Initiative roll and +3 movement for the first round).

Every few levels, Commanders gain Weapon Mastery for one type of weapon, like slashing or bludgeoning. This usually involves reducing or eliminating the effectiveness of enemy armor while using that type of weapon.

They choose their subclass at level 3, either Champion of the Bulwark or Champion of the Vanguard. Bulwarks get proficiency with plate armor, can Defend twice with a shield, do extra damage equal to their armor score when they do a Coordinated Strike!, and tank the hell out of everything. Vanguards get unique upgrades to Coordinated Strike!, like extra participants, extra movement, more uses per Safe Rest, and permanent advantage on their strikes.

A Commander can engage in Rigorous Training with other soldier-types during a Safe Rest to rearrange their abilities, like the other classes.

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Hunter

Red in tooth and claw (and short sword and arrow), Hunters are the ultimate nature boys. Maybe even more so than Stormshifters, who at least get magic powers for all their rolling around in the mud. Hunters start with 13 HP, which feels slightly low, and d8 Hit Dice. They have proficiency with leather armor and DEX-based weapons. Key Stats are DEX and WIL, with advantage on DEX saves and disadvantage on INT.

Right off the bat at level 1, a Hunter gains Hunter’s Mark, which marks someone as their quarry for up to a day or until they mark someone else. Attacking their quarry gains either advantage or +their level in damage.

Next level, they pick up two Thrill of the Hunt abilities. Now having a quarry becomes more interesting, since attacking them in melee, critting them at range, or having them die gains charges which can be spent to activate these abilities. They include Addling Arrow (attack a target at range; its next attack must be against the closest creature, chosen at random); Hail of Arrows (two actions to shoot all creatures in a 3×3 area, also halving their movement for a turn); and Pinning Shot (spend three actions shooting their quarry, restraining them until they can save to escape). Best of all, Thrill of the Hunt abilities never miss. Just spend a charge and make it happen.

If they don’t care for their current setup, they can Remember the Wild during a Safe Rest. Spend a day alone in the wilderness and come back with all new skills.

A Hunter’s choices for subclass are Keeper of the Shadowpath and Keeper of the Wild Heart. Shadowpathers can use Hunter’s Mark without spending an action at the beginning of a fight, have advantage on tracking, never get lost, and at higher levels can mark two creatures at once. Wild Hearters get +5 HP and d10 Hit Dice (that’s more like it, I say), are better herbalists and healers, and gain the ability Ha! I’m Over Here! which, if they would drop to 0 HP, instead lets them move away for free and take no damage, once per Safe Rest.

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Next time: No! No martials! Only magic!

Nimble is a D&D-5e-alike-but-not-really-but-sorta-but-nah-unless? developed by Evan Diaz and the creatively named Nimble Co. Nimble started out in 2023 as a D&D 5e hack (now known as “Nimble 5e”), but came into its own as a full-fledged system in 2025 (sometimes referred to as “Nimble 2,” though that’s not what they call it themselves). The latter is what we’re looking at today. Advertised with the tagline “Slay TTRPG Slog,” Nimble has been much touted lately as a minimalist, quick-playing, rules-tight, semi-drop-in replacement for 5e.

The base game comes at you three books deep: Core Rules, Game Master’s Guide, and Heroes, a.k.a. the classes book. The books are between 52 (Core) and 115 (GMG) pages long, with generous spacing and lots of illustrations. Nimble or not, it’s certainly light on its feet. I don’t own the print version because I’m not made of money, but pics make the books look almost comically thin.

Meanwhile, the digital version gives you a big honkin’ heap of files, including the above books (page and spread versions), the 5-panel GM screen, the Quickstart, and action cards, spell cards, item cards, and monster cards, both in color and printer friendly B&W versions. It also comes with a directory full of Markdown files ready to open in Obsidian, which is a real above-and-beyond gesture. You can supplement all this with a free ZIP file of VTT-ready maps for all of the adventures in the GM’s guide from their website. Their site also contains several video tutorials narrated by Evan himself.

They really want people to play their game.

Of course, all that is pretty worthless if the game itself isn’t any good. Let’s figure out if this actually has substance or if it’s just another heartbreaker.

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Cracking the Books

I am speed

The obvious starting book is the Core Rules, since it begins with a section literally named “Start Here.” This brief, mostly introductory text segues into a page titled “How to Be a Good Player.” Their advice boils down thus: act heroic, engage with the game, and don’t be a jerk. I mean, I’ve heard worse. There’s also a bit at the end about being nice to your struggling GM, who’s spent hours slaving over a hot table to lay out this nice game for you and yet you hardly show any appreciation. Would it kill you to say thank you every once in a while? You’re breaking your mother’s heart.

Now we jump right into the meat of the matter. Every character in Nimble has four Stats: Strength (STR), Dexterity (DEX), Intelligence (INT), and Will (WIL). Each class designates two of these as their Key Stats. For some class-based calculations, the player can choose either Key Stat to roll with. Stats run from -1 to +5, sloughing off the old 3-18 system which has been increasingly vestigial for years.

These stats provide the baseline scores for ten Skills: Arcana (INT), Examination (INT), Finesse (DEX), Influence (WIL), Insight (WIL), Might (STR), Lore (INT), Naturecraft (WIL), Perception (WIL), and Stealth (DEX). To make a skill check, the player rolls 1d20 and adds the relevant skill versus a Difficulty Challenge (DC) determined by the GM. Gee this sure feels familiar.

Meanwhile, saves use a d20 roll plus the character’s base stat score. Each class has one advantaged save stat and one disadvantaged save stat, like for instance the Berserker’s STR+, INT-. When rolling saves, the player would roll the STR with Advantage, INT with Disadvantage, and saves from the other two like normal.

While Nimble has fewer stats and skills than D&D, the way they work is still instantly familiar. Calculating DCs uses the exact same guidelines as D&D. If a published D&D adventure says doing a thing is a DC 12 check, you have nothing to convert. It may not always be the same skill, but it should be obvious which one fits.

The first real quirk Nimble throws at us is how its versions of Advantage and Disadvantage work. Adv/Dis can be applied to any die roll, not just checks. So you could, for example, roll 3d6 with Advantage, which would involve rolling 4d6 and dropping the lowest. Adv/Dis can have multiple levels, too, so rolling 2d8 with Disadvantage 2 involves rolling 4d8 and dropping the two highest.

Hit Points work just like D&D … until you drop to 0. At that point, you take one Wound and gain the Dying condition. Wounds are serious injuries that take extra time and care to heal. A character can take six Wounds before they actually die die. While Dying, actions are limited, concentration is broken, attacking or casting a spell requires a STR check or you take another Wound, and you take more Wounds if you’re hit again. Healing HP is easy (and ends the Dying condition), but healing a Wound requires taking a Safe Rest away from danger for a while.

The next two pages blast through the rules for Range & Speed, Concentration, Cover & Hiding, Grappling, and Conditions. There’s nothing really odd here for a 5e player, just pared down to their essence. F’rex, the Speed rules fix everyone’s movement to 6. Six what? Six spaces on the map. Are those meters or five-foot increments or what? Who cares, just go 6. Don’t have a grid? Measure from your thumb to pinky. That’s about six inches. Good enough.

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Combat

The bigger they are, the harder they hit

I just want to break in here and mention that the rules started on page 5; we are now on page 13. Nimble doesn’t mess around.

Tactical combat is where things really diverge from 5e. For one thing, characters get three Heroic Actions per round, Pathfinder-ishly. On their turn, they can spend these actions to Attack, Cast a Spell, Move, or Assess. (There are other situational actions too, which we’ll see later.)

Here we learn the One Big Takeaway about Nimble: there are no to-hit rolls. When you Attack a foe within range, you roll damage dice and apply the total directly to their HP, unless you roll a 1, which is a miss, or the die’s maximum value, which is a Crit. If you’re rolling multiple dice, the die that lands to your furthest left is the Primary Die used to count these misses and crits. Crits explode as long as you keep rolling max values, and ignore monster armor too.

Now this isn’t the first RPG to go to-hit-less; Sentinel Comics, Into the Odd, the various Bastionlands, even classic Tunnels & Trolls forgo hit rolls. This is the first D&D-alike I’ve seen that goes this route, though. I would even posit that it’s closer to D&D’s rationale that Hit Points are an abstraction of fatigue, little cuts that gradually bite deeper, etc. than D&D itself gets. HP here are essentially padding before you start taking Wounds and really get hurt.

Characters can spend multiple actions to Attack more than once per turn, though each additional attack gains one level of Disadvantage. They can also Move repeatedly, so that 6-space move can become 12 or 18 if they need to book it. Spells have an action cost between 1 and 3, and may also cost Mana; we’ll get to that in a bit.

The Assess action allows the player to make a DC 12 skill check to do one of three things: ask the GM a question about the current situation which they must answer honestly, create an opening against a foe to gain a bonus to attack them, or anticipate danger, which reduces all dice rolled against the character by 1 point until their next turn. The skill you use for the Assess check depends on what you want to do. Assessing whether there are hidden enemies nearby would be a Perception check, while a sneaky character who wants to anticipate danger might roll Stealth and use shadows to make themselves a poor target. This injects a little environmental forwardness into the game mechanics, which I think is neat.

After a character’s turn ends, they immediately get all three of their actions back. This allows them to use them as Reactions when it’s not their turn. Basic reactions are Defend (reduce one incoming attack by your Armor score), Interpose (push someone in danger out of the way and take the hit for them), make an Opportunity Attack (attack with Disadvantage if a foe moves away), or Help (give an ally Advantage by taking some kind of action within the story). Unlike Actions, you can only perform each type of Reaction once per turn. So a character could both Interpose and Help in their off-turn, but they couldn’t Help twice. Also, each reaction costs one action, so e.g. someone who Defends will only have two actions left to use for their next turn.

Here we find my first real beef with Nimble.

The Defend reaction reduces incoming damage, as you’d expect. But! No matter what sort of armor you’re wearing, you can still only defend against one attack per turn. This is fine if you’re being attacked by a single ogre or something, but being surrounded by goblins would shred you up. Oh sure, a GM could describe how your attention is divided and all those little jerks are stabbing between the armored parts, but we won’t be fooled by that, will we, folks? Lord Murderdeath in his full dragonscale armor shouldn’t be so vulnerable to low-level mobs. I’d probably at least give a small passive armor bonus (like ¼) to characters in their big expensive armors, and leave Defend as is for that one big guy with the club.

At the beginning of a fight, the GM asks players to roll Initiative. Everyone throws a d20 and adds their initiative bonus (usually DEX). If they roll a single digit number, they only get one action on their first turn. If they roll 10-19, they get two actions, and all three on a 20+. No matter how many actions they have to start with, they get all three back after their turn.

There’s no dice-driven initiative order. The PCs almost always go first in a round, unless they’re caught completely flat-footed, and they (usually) all act before the monsters get their turn. The first player to act is the one who’s ready to go first, and then play continues clockwise.

And that’s it for the basic combat rules. We’re now on page 16, taking a one-page diversion to discuss rest and healing. There are two types of rest, Field and Safe. A Field Rest can either be Catching Your Breath (take 10 minutes to regroup, rolling your Hit Dice to heal up a little) or Making Camp (similar deal, but takes eight hours and gives you the maximum value of your Hit Dice without rolling). A Safe Rest has you going to an inn or other safe haven for several days, restoring all your HP, mana, and Hit Dice and healing one Wound.

Safe Rests can also involve downtime activities like shopping, working, mentoring, etc.

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Building Character(s)

The measure of a man

The character sheet is as compact as you’d expect. The normal version fills up only half a page, though there are other versions that take up a full page in either portrait or landscape orientation. You wastrel.

Character creation is about as quick as everything else.

1. Select your class, and take note of which stats are the Key Stats for that class. Classes are touched on very briefly here, but not fleshed out until the Heroes book. So equally briefly, here are your choices, along with which D&D class they’re wink-nodding:
   
   Berserker: Barbarian
   The Cheat: Rogue
   Commander: Warlord (welcome back, buddy)
   Hunter: Ranger
   Mage: Sorcerer
   Oathsworn: Paladin
   Shadowmancer: Warlock
   Shepherd: Cleric
   Songweaver: Bard
   Stormshifter: Druid
   Zephyr: Monk
   
   None of them are exact 1:1 comparisons but they all carry a heavy fog of familiarity.

2. Choose an Ancestry and Background. That’s the subject of the next chapter, but all the classics are there, as well as some … interesting exotics. Your ancestry choice may alter some of your starting scores. Apply as directed.

3. Use one of the following arrays to fill in your stats: Standard (+2, +2, +0, -1), Balanced (+2, +1, +1, 0), or Min-Max (+3, +1, -1, -1). Also find your class’ advantaged stat and mark a little arrow triangle printed at the top of the stat box as a reminder, then mark the bottom triangle for the disadvantaged stat.

4. Fill in the skill boxes with the numbers from their respective stats, then add four extra points between them.

5. Write in your Max HP and Hit Dice (provided by your class), number of Hit Dice (equal to your level), Initiative (default DEX), Speed (default 6), max Wounds (default 6), and inventory slots (10 + STR).

6. Either equip up with the standard loadout given to you for your class and background, or take 50 gp and go shopping.

Choose your languages, mark down any other weirdness that comes from your life choices, and you’re ready to roll.

Leveling up involves rolling your Hit Die type with advantage for more HP, gaining another Hit Die for rests, adding one skill point, and picking up new class features. Every new level in a class gives you a new ability to play with. No leveling doldrums here.

Spoiler from a future book: Leveling in Nimble is milestone only.

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Ancestries and Backgrounds

Who is your daddy and what does he do

The list of ancestries (a.k.a. races, heritage, folk, whatever term satiates the wolves baying at the door) reads like a hybrid of half a dozen other games’ race rosters smashed together. Let’s hit it.

• Human – hey, it’s us! Gets +1 to all skills and initiative to make up for being boring.
• Dwarf – gains 2 Hit Dice and 1 max Wound, but takes -1 Speed.
• Elf – advantage on Initiative and +1 Speed.
• Halfling – +1 to Stealth, and can choose to succeed a failed save once per Safe Rest.
• Gnome – have the power of Optimism, allowing allies nearby to reroll one die. Tra la la.
• Bunbun – okay, here we go with the odd ones. Little rabbit people. Once per encounter, can leap up to their Speed in any direction without expending an action.
• Dragonborn – gains one point of armor and can inflict extra damage split among multiple targets, thus aping a breath weapon without summoning Hasbro’s legal team.
• Fiendkin – wow I wonder what this ancestry is supposed to be reminiscent of. Change one neutral save to advantaged.
• Goblin – skittery little fellow. Can move two spaces for free after being targeted by an attack or negative effect.
• Kobold – Western lizard types, not Eastern dog types. Once per encounter, can force an enemy to reroll an attack. Also gets a bonus to Influence friendly characters, and gains advantage on any dragon-related check.
• Orc – wait, I thought you were on their side. Once per Safe Rest, can reset any 0 HP result to their current level. Gets +1 to Might rolls.
• Birdfolk – I really think we should wait for Jarnathan. Can fly, but crits against them have advantage and forced movement (pushing etc.) moves them twice as far.
• Celestial – proof that angels can get bizzay. Their disadvantaged stat becomes neutral.
• Changeling – a whole new you. Gets two shapeshifting “skill points” which they can add to any one skill each time they shift.
• Crystalborn – rock rock on. Once per encounter, can deflect part of one attack back on their attacker.
• Dryad/Shroomling – I can dig it, man. When hit, emit airborne spores which can daze opponents.
• Half-Giant – bane of low ceilings. Can force an enemy to reroll one crit per encounter, and gains +2 Might.
• Minotaur/Beastfolk – our friends against fascism. Can get a running start and knock people around the map.
• Oozeling/Construct – I know what kind of man you are. Has a weird body that raises their Hit Dice by one step (d6 becomes d8, for instance) and always heals the maximum amount, except for magical healing which does the minimum.
• Planarbeing – wasn’t even supposed to be here (in this dimension) today. When performing the Defend Reaction, they can mark off one Wound to phase out of existence and take no HP damage at all.
• Ratfolk – well somebody likes little furry guys. Gain +2 armor if they moved in the last turn.
• Stoatling – … but this is getting sad. Deals additional d6’s when attacking something larger than itself. Suffers the same from larger attacks.
• Turtlefolk – on the half-shell. Get +4 armor and -2 Speed. Ayyyyup.
• Wyrdling – odd folk full of raw magic power, causing surges around them. Nearby casters can roll on the Chaos Table for free once per encounter.

Backgrounds answer the “where did you come from?” question, but also have a mechanical component. “Made a BAD Choice,” for instance, gives you an additional 1,000 gp or equivalent magic item at start, along with a powerful curse or an enemy who knows you have it and wants it back. “Back Out of Retirement” takes away one Wound permanently, but also lets you take a Wound at will to use an ability or spell at one level higher. “Bumblewise” requires you to have 0 or lower WIL, but any natural 1 on a WIL-based save or skill check counts as a natural 20 instead. Backgrounds all give with one hand and take with the other. It’s a cool idea, decently implemented.

Optionally, a player can choose from a page of adventuring motivations. You’re trying to get home, you were betrayed by your bestie, your king sent you forth for some reason, you want to see what’s at the bottom of all these deep holes, whatever. These are mostly hooks for the GM to yank on at opportune times, but they can help with roleplaying too.

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Equipment

I got a rock

Equipment must be important in this game, since this chapter is eleven whole pages long. Woo.

This section has your typical tables of monster mashers and glimmering gewgaws, interspersed with just enough equipment rules that you can’t really skip reading it. Here we find proficiency rules (proficiencies come with your class, unproficient weapons don’t crit, and defending with unproficient armor costs two actions), dual wielding (wielding two light weapons gains you one extra die on one of them), unarmed strikes, improvised weapons, etc.

There are a couple pages of magic items here, including a Weapon of Many Hands which gives you two extra arms while you wield it, a Pocket Cauldron which can brew potions that let you see into the future or relive a past memory, and the ever-popular Ball of Spiders which generates a carpet of illusory bugs which skeeves monsters out. We also learn about scrolls and wands which allow even non-mages to cast spells (with a DC check, of course). There’s not a whole lot of stuff here, but it’s enough to get you started. If you want a huge list, you can convert them over from The Other Game.

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Spells

Bibbidy bobbity boo-wah

There are six main schools of magic in basic Nimble: Fire, Ice, Lightning, Necrotic, Radiant, and Wind. Each school contains a couple cantrips, seven combat spells, and three utility spells. That’s it. That’s all you get. (Barring hidden spells … shh …)

The various classes gain access to a limited selection of schools. Mage gets Fire, Ice, and Lightning; Oathsworn gets Radiant; Shadowmancer gets Necrotic; etc. Some of the schools get multiple dips, so for instance Shepherds also get both Radiant and Necrotic. This is mitigated by each class’ other features, so it’s not like Shepherds make Shadowmancers obsolete.

Spells have Tiers, starting at Cantrip and rising through Tier 9. They also have an Action cost from 1 to 3, and many have a Mana cost as well. Generally, spellcasting classes start with all the Cantrips of their school and gain one Tier every two levels. Utility spells are chosen one at a time by the player as the character reaches certain levels.

There are no spell slots. The main limit to casting is Mana, which is acquired differently for each class. This book doesn’t go into any detail and so neither will I (until we get to the Heroes book, anyway).

Most spells, including Cantrips, can be Upcast once you reach a higher Tier. This costs extra Mana but gives each spell a unique powerup, like extra Reach or damage.

So, about that relatively small number of spells. Players who enjoy picking from a huge list of funky spells may balk. Nimble, though, takes their spells and massages them into something unique with class features. You’ll … have to trust me on that for now. You’ll see what I mean when we get there. GMs might have to make the same case to skeptical players who’ve only read to this point.

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And the rest

Altered states

The last couple of sections discuss optional rules and edge cases, like multiclassing, knocking people off cliffs, playing dead, healing multiple Wounds during Safe Rests, customizing weapon dice, and such like. There’s a page with illustrations about how to measure areas of effect, cones, and lines on a grid, then a glossary, and then we’re out.

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Next time: The other side of the GM screen

HandiQuest

Publisher: Lester Smith Games
Year: 2022
Dimensions: 2½” x 3½” x negligible thickness for the system alone, or ⅝” for everything you need to play
Players: 1

This unfortunately-named solo ruleset comes with the Bookmark No-HP RPG Compleat Bundle on DTRPG, or can be purchased separately for a couple bucks. The system is printed on four double-sided poker cards, but you also need a copy of Bookmark No-HP RPG (BNHP) and some variety of the Gamemaster’s Apprentice Deck (GMA) to play. That makes this the Avengers of game reviews.

HandiQuest (heh) attempts to marry the random prompts of GMA with the simple play of BNHP to create a solo RPG experience that you can literally play anywhere. The rules don’t mention it, but I’d assume that if you’re playing a genre game (fantasy, sci-fi, etc.) with the BNHP rules, you’re expected to be using the generic GMA deck or a matching themed deck. Though as I think of it, playing e.g. sci-fi with e.g. the Age of Sail deck would certainly give it a unique flavor. Y’know what, I withdraw my objection. Mix ‘em up.

N.B.: The rules assume you’re using physical cards for all this. It can be played very easily with a virtual GMA deck (like you get with Bundle of Holding deals) if you use a card randomizer app or the deck system in your favorite VTT. I’ve been using a free Android app called Custom Image Dice, which works quite well. You just need to figure out your own system to hold and/or count cards.

Gameplay: To start a game, make a BNHP character, then cut the GMA deck. The cut card shows your ultimate goal in its Location spot, and the difficulty getting there in the Difficulty Generator spot on the other side. Take this card, invert it, stick it somewhere in the back half of the deck, and reassemble everything. This gives you a largish but random number of card pulls for your adventure.

From here, the game has a definite rhythm. Pull the top card, select a Location from either side, and take the Difficulty from the other. This is your next waypoint. Draw a second card and use the prompts there to make up what exactly the main obstacle will be on your way to the destination. Then run the encounter. When you would normally roll dice for BNHA, instead draw cards for the Dice Wheel.

If you survive to reach your goal, draw another card and look at the Likely Odds section. If most of the prompts are “No,” it’s an encounter; if mostly “Yes,” it’s a battle. Once again use card prompts within the scene to describe what you’re dealing with. In a battle scene, continue using the cards to make up an opponent and fight them. Encounters are more for imagination and storytelling. You can also rest after an encounter unless any of the prompts on the card are “NO!”

On to the next. When you reach the upside-down card, it’s automatically a battle, but otherwise run it like other locations. Win, lose, or draw, the game ends afterward.

If you want to make it an epic quest, shuffle and run through twice, first to find a quest item which you then use as a Trait or Vocation for your second journey.

Pocket fit: HandiQuest by itself weighs nothin’, but everything you need to play makes it hefty. The minimum set of HandiQuest + BNHP rules + one genre card + GMA is ~70 cards, and a slip case is practically required if you don’t want your deck to get all dog-eared. You’ll need a pencil to keep track of your character too. C-.

Legibility: Quite nice. HandiQuest uses a slightly chonky 11-point-ish serif font with bold sans-serif headers. It’s readable even from arm’s length. A.

Completeness: Hm. Well, literally by itself, this game is F-tier unplayable. With BNHP and a GMA deck, it’s about the same as BNHP itself, so I’ll crib from my previous review and give it a B-.

Final thoughts: HandiQuest gives you the barest, barest minimum to play solo BNHP + GMA. Since it can only generate very standard “go here, do this, go there, do that” stories, it’s not the Ultimate Story Experience by any stretch. I dare say even a minimal story engine like Storytelling Mints has this beat on that front. It’s fine if you don’t mind galumphing around the countryside like a Dark Souls player for an hour or two, but it’s not really built for ultra-memorable, story-rich games.

I appreciate it as a pack-in, but I wouldn’t recommend going out of your way to pick it up. One thumb passionlessly up.

ALONe (an acronym for A Lonesome October Night … um … e) is a solo RPG engine built directly on top of the Gamemaster’s Apprentice Deck, both by Nathan Rockwood of Larcenous Designs. The original beta version of ALONe came out around the same time as the original GMA deck in 2015. Nathan finally decided to call ALONe “complete” in 2023, just in time for the second edition of GMA to come out and partially invalidate (or at least complicate) it.

ALONe can either be played by itself or as a GM emulator mixin for another game system. When played by itself, all the themes, power levels, technology, magic, equipment, etc. come straight out of the player’s brain. Want to play a starving orphan child in steampunk Paris? Go for it. Want to be King Shit of the Universe, capable of destroying galaxies with your mighty butterfly kisses? Have fun, bud. The system expects you occasionally to be in some sort of peril, physical, emotional, or otherwise, to keep the story engaging. But hey, if you’re satisfied creating a narrative where you shout “And I win again!” a lot, nobody’s gonna yuck your yum.

ALONe-on-its-own is designed for one player only. You could use it for GM-less group games, but the lack of power scaling can easily bite a group in the butt unless everyone thoroughly agrees what level they’re on. Using ALONe to run a separate system works somewhat more fairly since it engages that system’s checks and balances. There’s also no built-in system to ensure everybody gets their time in the sun, so you’d have to import a spotlight mechanic from elsewhere.

Setting up

Describe me like one of your French girls

Preparing an ALONe campaign is a multi-stage process.

1. Decide whether you want to do just ALONe, ALONe as a narrative engine combined with another system for its crunchy tactical morsels, or use another system for everything but the story. In the third case, the rules suggest skipping ALONe entirely and using one of the Gamemaster’s Apprentice Deck adventure guides instead.
   
   Using another game requires the player to do some lateral thinking. ALONe’s narrative engine relies heavily on Descriptors, like SPELLCASTING STUDENT, MASTER SWORDSMAN, DASHING ROGUE, etc. Using a different system requires the player to translate their character’s stats and abilities into these Descriptors so ALONe can play with them. The rules suggest things like translating a level 1 thief into ROGUE’S GUILD INITIATE and a high Stealth skill into BLENDS INTO SHADOWS. The player can also bring in character elements that the other system doesn’t cover, like BASTARD SON OF THE EVIL DUKE or MASTER OF THE KAZOO. It’s all the same to ALONe.
   
   If you’re not using another system, never mind. Move along to 2.
   
2. Figure out your theme and your character. It’s all basic “Where am I? Who am I? Why am I here?” type stuff. This section includes a Mad Lib-like character motivation generator to get you started. If you can’t think of anything or don’t care so much, the back of the book has an appendix full of random character background/motivation tables.
   
3. Gather your resources. This includes in-game resources like gold, weapons, and rations, and also Revision Points, which are ALONe’s meta-narrative currency. The player can spend Revision Points during setup to get more Descriptors, or use them in-game to re-draw a card, temporarily gain or edit a Descriptor, or trigger a story-altering Vignette, about which more later.
   
4. Choose three initial Descriptors for your character. This might be disappointing for players who got all excited in phase 1 and came up with a dozen ways to describe their special unicorn OC. If three’s not enough, the player can buy extra Descriptors with Revision Points.
   
   There’s plenty of advice on creating Descriptors in this section. One thing that stood out to me was how they interact with the campaign’s concept. The example given is a vampire character in a campaign about hunting other vampires; in this case, “vampire” doesn’t really need to be a Descriptor, since that’s the campaign’s baseline. They still have the powers and everything, they just don’t stand out from the norm. If everyone they’re likely to meet is a normal human, however, VAMPIRE is definitely a valid Descriptor.

Once the course is set and the main character is built, we can finally learn how to

Play the Game

Open up your mind and let me step inside

Unlike those fools up Washington way, ALONe has some basic principles: ask leading questions for the cards to answer, seek inspiration from the cards rather than instruction, and don’t assume that what the cards tell you has the same ineffable weight as a GM. It’s a deck of prompts, not the Oracle at Delphi.

This bit, I think, is mostly here to help players who aren’t used to solo games get into a more active mindset. The cards may push your story like the wind, but it’s up to you to steer the ship. They report, you decide.

The rules then describe a Stability/Tension system to help determine when random events occur. The player sets a Tension score from 1 to 10, with higher numbers indicating more hectic situations. Whenever they draw a GMA card for anything, they also look at the Difficulty Generator score on that card. If that number is equal to or less than the current Tension score, a random event occurs. Draw two or three cards and look at the Random Event Generator part to get a noun, a verb, and potentially an adjective. Then inject whatever you just drew into the story.

The Tension level can be set once for the whole game, decided per scene, or have a rising level that increases per draw until it triggers, then resets.

The actual decision-making process is quite straightforward. Essentially, you couch what you want to know as a Yes/No question, decide your odds (bad, even, or good), draw a card for the answer, check the Tension level for a random event, and apply the results to the story. If you’ve ever used an oracle-based system before, this should be very familiar territory.

Descriptors come into play when determining odds. Having a Descriptor which is advantageous to the current action (NIMBLE FINGERS while picking a lock, maybe) bumps the odds in your favor. A situationally negative Descriptor (HUGE DUMPY while squeezing through a small passage, perhaps) knocks them down. If various conflicting Descriptors apply, the player can either choose which one seems most important at the moment, or count up and down as they cancel each other out.

A more complex point-based system exists for players that want more crunch, especially for mechanical questions like “did I hit the goblin” or, more importantly, “did the goblin hit me.” The player starts at zero, adds one point per each relevant positive Descriptor, subtracts one point per negative Descriptor, and adds or subtracts up to two points for situational bonuses/penalties. They then do that same calculation for their opponent. If both totals are equal or one point off, it’s Even Odds. Above that is Good Odds, and below that is Bad Odds. Flip the card and take your lumps.

If this is the system you’re going with, the rules suggest adding a number to your Descriptors so you’re not, for example, trying to figure out how NOVICE SWORDSMAN, EXCELLENT SWORDSMAN, and LEGENDARY SWORDSMAN stack up against each other. Instead, just do SWORDSMAN (1), (2), or (3) and use that in your calculations.

If you’re using a different system alongside ALONe, never mind all that mechanical stuff and use whatever they got.

The Consequences of Your Actions

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal

While co-playing a different system, you most likely have HP/MP/Sanity/whatever to keep up with your current condition. By itself, ALONe doesn’t track any of that. Instead, failures impose either temporary conditions or negative Descriptors.

On a failure, the player draws a card and looks at the Difficulty Generator. A low number indicates something brief and easily fixable, like dropping your weapon. A median number might impose a temporary Descriptor, like BLINDED BY VENOM, which requires special effort to mitigate during the scene but goes away once the combat is done. High numbers impose more grave, long-lasting Descriptors, like LOST A HAND or LEARNED DARTH VADER IS MY FATHER.

Sometimes you may have trouble deciding what kind of consequence to take. There’s a handy random chart of effect types to help you figure that out, from confusion to incarceration to loss of motivation to good ol’ broken bones.

Here we run into a minor snag: this random table, and many others later in the document, rely on the Tag Symbols from the GMA 1e decks. Thing is, GMA 2e does away with Tag Symbols in favor of a different random generator. Admittedly there are ten of these symbols and you could just use the d10 from the Dice Wheel for the same purpose, though not all tables have numerical indices. So you have to count rows. Like a commoner.

An optional rule is the grandiosely named Doom of Damocles. This adds between three and five checkboxes to the adventure sheet. For every negative Descriptor the character acquires in-game, even a temporary one, check a box. If a Descriptor is cleared or mitigated, erase a box. When all the boxes are filled, your adventure reaches its bad end. Getting hit in the head with a sword is optional.

The rules continue with tips on how to adjudicate combat, from brawls to mass battles, and a fairly long section on how to run social encounters without feeling schizophrenic by using random motivation tables for your NPCs. At times the social section gets a little overly specific, expecting the player to create unique reaction tables for particular genres or even for important NPCs. That all feels like work to me, frankly, but I know some of you sickos out there would get a kick out of it.

Now that we’ve absorbed all that, here, on page 43, it’s time to discover

How Everything Actually Works

Our story is only just beginning

So you thought reading all those rules meant you knew how to play? Ha! Think again! This section goes in-depth into concepts which so far we’ve only touched on: Revisions, Descriptors, Beats, Vignettes, and Downtime. Used together, these will hopefully help a player organize their random story into something coherent.

We’ve already talked about Revisions and Descriptors. The rules go a little deeper here, like how to gain more Revision Points and add/change Descriptors as the story goes on, but nothing earth-shattering.

Beats are units of story that start with a stake of some sort (e.g., you want or need something) and end when that stake is resolved (e.g., you get or permanently lose that something). There’s yet another random chart here to help spur the player’s imagination if it fails them. Beats are different from scenes, in that multiple scenes can occur within a Beat and/or a stake can be resolved in the middle of a scene and then either changed or doubled down on.

Vignettes are chunks of narration that exist outside the rules and can change the story any way the player wants. This may sound enormously powerful, but that’s only because it is. If the player wants to take a simple snail herder and make her the God of Hamburgers, a Vignette can do it in a snap. Vignettes also cover flashbacks that explain how that latest setback was all Part of the Plan, which is why you happen to have the magic dingus that saves the day! What prevents Vignettes from turning the game into a Mary Sue fanfic is that they have a Revision Point cost, so you don’t have an unlimited number of them. If the Vignette would change the character’s Descriptors, you have to pay for those too.

Downtime is where all the boring day-to-day stuff happens. If you want to quantify it, the player gets one Downtime Point and can buy up to two more with Revision Points. The more Downtime Points you spend, the more involved your off-hour actions become, from finding a safe place to hide (1 point) to founding a small-time crime cartel (3 points).

On the Campaign Trail

Vote early, vote often

The concluding chapter goes into how to incite a campaign with random actions, plus how to generate your own random tables for your campaign. Bookkeeping gamers may enjoy this, but it’s not my bag. Building a table in the middle of running the game feels like filling out paperwork in the back of a speeding semi full of volatile Tripolodine.

The rest of this chapter reiterates the Adventure Guide that comes with the GMA Deck nearly word-for-word. Select a Core, ask a Big Question, choose a Doom (not of Damocles), all that. I mean, it works, so there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel.

The document ends with multiple appendices containing randomizers and examples of play. They’re fine.

Final Thoughts

Beyond the blue horizon

I just wrote a lot. But that’s because ALONe is kind of a lot. The document is 84 pages long with the only picture being on its cover. As rules go, it’s a bit intimidating. It feels especially wordy when you compare it to the Gamemaster’s Apprentice Deck that fuels it.

I’ll get my greatest complaint out of the way now: the document is poorly organized and badly edited. You must, must, read through the whole thing, cover to cover, to get the entire picture. Things are introduced without reference on page 11 that aren’t explained until page 46. There are several instances of “see page XX” instead of actual page numbers. The table of contents (and thank heaven we even have one) doesn’t show page numbers, only links. There are no PDF bookmarks. One form, apparently designed to be printed on one sheet, spills over to the top of the next page. For something eight years in the making, this is very … enthusiastically presented, one might say. Most of those problems could be fixed in an afternoon by a decent editor.

That’s a shame, because what the document says isn’t so bad. Once you’ve put some brainpower and patience into untangling the rules, they fit together pretty well. The Tension system is essentially Mythic GME’s Chaos Factor without weirding up the odds. Personally, I also like how Vignettes let you course-correct the story (or fling it beyond Mars, if that’s your bent).

Even there, though, it’s not all roses. ALONe wants you to engage with bespoke random tables a lot. But every time they tried to guide me to another table I kept glancing at the GMA deck, chock full of random prompts, just sitting idle. Use that, I thought. You made it too, Nathan. Have some confidence in your own brainchild.

Anyway. ALONe has some good ideas poorly presented, a solid foundation that gets lost in its own weeds sometimes, and can be rewarding if you put in the effort to learn but requires more effort to learn than it should. Once you wrap your head around it, it’s a decent solo system.

One and a half thumbs up for the system, but losing most of a thumb for the presentation.

I thought I’d quickly review the Gamemaster’s Apprentice Deck (GMA) by Nathan Lockwood of Larcenous Designs, plus touch on its myriad alternate versions. These 120-card decks (60 cards double-sided in their print version) aren’t a game so much as a tool to help GMs create and run anything from one-shot adventures to entire campaigns. GMA is also a GM-in-a-box for anyone who wants to run solo with pretty much any system they own.

The first GMA deck came out in 2015. Since then, the publisher has provided a number of themed decks, designed to focus on specific game genres: fantasy, science fiction, horror, cyberpunk, steampunk, etc. The base GMA deck recently got a second edition in 2025, with some streamlining, altered prompts, and less esoteric symbology.

Be aware that most of these GMA decks haven’t been updated to 2e yet. In fact, at this writing, there’s only one actual 2e deck available, the “generic” version. All themed decks are some variant of the original 1e variety.

Here’s a random card from the GMA 2e deck (on the left), next to one from the original deck.

That’s a lot to process, I know. But that seemingly random jumble of information can fit together in all sorts of interesting ways.

1. Difficulty Generator – A number from 1 to 10, statistically weighted toward 5.5 in a bell curve. There’s only one 1 and one 10 in the whole 120-card deck. This number is useful to gauge the relative intensity of an obstacle or action, from barely impactful to death on a stick.
2. Likely Odds – Use this as an oracle to figure out whether something happens based on rough probability. Bad odds show 25% Yes and 75% No across all the cards, Even odds are 50/50, and Good odds are 75/25. Sometimes you’ll run across a YES! or NO! result, which you can guess adds emphasis (“yes and,” for improvisational types). GMA 2e adds Yes? and No? for more wishy-washy answers.
3. Dice Wheel – Read around the edge for random die roll results (clockwise from 12 o’clock): d4, d6, d8, d10, d12, d20, and two d10s for percentile dice. Handy if your dice are elsewhere. Since you still have to draw two cards to read the percentile dice, they feel kinda superfluous when you already have a d10 slot.
4. Scatter Die – Either shows an arrow pointing in one of eight directions, a bullseye, or a complete miss. Besides the traditional “Where did that pesky grenade bounce off to,” this can be useful for things like answering where that weird sound is coming from, which way the bad guy ran, the prevailing wind, or anything else directional.
5. Norse Rune – The red-headed stepchild of the 1e card design. In most GMA 1e decks, this area of the card contains one of the 24 futhark runes. The provided instructional PDF has a large and elaborate chart on how to interpret these symbols.
   
   
   Algiz ya deez nuts
   
   Honestly it feels a bit flaky to me. Unless you’re fascinated with the concept, use the runes constantly, and keep the chart handy until you memorize everything, this is skippable. There are easier things on these cards to loosely interpret.
6. Elemental Symbol – A little pictograph indicating air, earth, fire, or water. Can be interpreted as needed, either literally (“We’re on fire! Now there’s a tornado!” etc.) or metaphorically (movement for air, defense for earth, etc.).
7. Prompt Icons – GMA 2e replaces the Norse rune and elemental symbol with two random pictographs which you can interpret however you please. The instructions say you can interpret the upper symbol as “positive” and the lower one as “negative,” but it’s really up to you. You paid for the deck. What perverted things you see in it are your own business.
8. Random Event Generator – 120 random verbs, adjectives, and nouns. Draw three cards and use those words as the catalyst for your next epic adventure!
   
   
   … well, at least the pay’s good
   
9. Sensory Snippets – Random sounds, sights, sensations, and smells for when you need some detail to spice up your descriptions. These can also be used to help determine what’s going on in a room, so the sound of “glass clinking” could indicate you’ve stumbled into a fancy dinner party, while the smell of “rotting meat” could indicate you’ve stumbled into a fancy dinner party at Mar-A-Lago. Ha ha. Zing!
10. Tag Symbols – Exclusive to 1e decks, these 3 out of 10 icons exist as another interpretive tool. The instructions suggest you make up your own meaning for each symbol depending on the type of game you’re playing. For instance, the castle icon might mean “difficult obstacle” in a dungeon crawl, “stonewalling” in a crime procedural, “heavy shielding” in a space opera, etc. This supposes the person using the deck has enough foresight to plot all that out ahead of time, of course. The Adventure Guides (see below) have some suggestions on how to use these.
11. Scene Types – 2e decks replace the tag icons with a brief line of text which pretty much lays the concept of a new scene right at your feet. It’s almost too straightforward after spending our days vibing plots out of two vertical lines and a picture of a penguin. Use this sparingly or else your plotline will look like Lombard Street.
    
    
    I mean we all knew what I was referencing, but here’s a picture anyway
    
12. Map Icon – New to GMA 2e, this teeny-tiny little compass rose shows a cube and/or hex with its vertices pointing in the six cardinal directions: North, South, East, West, Feather (Up), and Weight (Down). Lines connect the icons on the compass to the cube, with different ways to read them: solid lines means easy access, dotted lines are hidden passages, barred lines are an obstacle, and partial lines are dead ends. No line means no way that way.
    
    Besides the obvious roguelike dungeon generation, the documentation also suggests using the Map Icon for less concrete things, like interpersonal plots or concept maps. If you’re the sort of person who likes to map out your relationships on a flowchart, this can help.
13. Belongings – Your players just whacked someone and are rifling through their pockets; what do they find? While this field doesn’t give specifics, it can help you decide what kind of stuff a character may have, and from that infer what kind of person they are and what role they play in society.
14. Names – Three semi-generic multi-cultural names for NPCs. One name is vaguely masculine, one vaguely feminine, and one vaguely neutral. Very helpful for the GM making up random passers-by off the top of their head. These names pick up the flavor of a deck’s theme, so you won’t come across a lot of Steves in the Fantasy deck.
15. Catalyst/Location – Like the Sensory Snippets above, these are little phrases designed to get your creativity moving again when you’re blocked. Narrative Ex-Lax, if you will. Combine with an adjective from the Random Event Generator to turn that Orphanage location into a Profitable Orphanage and … wow, suddenly the story took a dark turn, didn’t it.
16. Situation – The 2e version of Catalyst/Location, adding a third line for stakes, like “Tame a Beast” or “Escape Their Past.” Instant motivation for an NPC or a story beat for the PCs.
17. Virtue/Vice – A quick way to figure out why this guy is worth anything and also why he sucks. All the greatest hits are here: Lust, Greed, Sloth, Gluttony, Temperance, Diligence, Compassion, Chastity, etc. The designer added a few more, like Fear and Mercy, because I guess we were getting a little too Catholic up in here.
18. Traits – This is the 2e version of Virtue/Vice above, adding a third line for a physical trait like “Cold eyes” or “Mumbles.” Very helpful for off-the-cuff roleplaying that random blacksmith or storekeeper.
19. Flavor Text – Also new to 2e, this contains a silly line of dialogue which may or may not spur your imagination in some way. This is probably the least important area of the cards. It’s really just there for fun. In the Cyberpunk GMA Deck, this area is used for a random megacorporation name instead.

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Adventure Guides

Come on, grab your friends

If you get any of the GMA versions that come as or with PDFs, most of them add in an Adventure Guide to help you plot out a strategic-level campaign framework. Although these guides all use the same structure, there’s no generic version; each one assumes (properly) you’re sticking with a broad genre of some sort.

The Adventure Guide prompts the GM to choose a Core concept for the overarching game, like exploring the galaxy for Sci-Fi or overthrowing The Man for Cyberpunk. Optionally you should then choose a Big Question to explore, like “What makes a person moral?” or “What is true love?” or “How many roads must a man walk down?” This isn’t a question that you should automatically know the answer to. It exists as a sub-concept which colors the whole campaign.

Next you choose a Doom, the singular lurking threat that will change the world and which the players are fated to deal with one way or another. It is the storm that is approaching, provoking black clouds in isolation. The characters don’t necessarily know what it is, but the GM definitely should.

The GM then either chooses or generates three other problems. Each problem should have a plan, a cast of characters (broadly speaking, at least) and a goal. Throw these at the players to give them something to do while the big plot percolates in the background. Making connections from one to the next can really get the imagination working.

If that’s not enough, you can also ask three more questions which are relatively minor, plot-wise: Will the townsfolk rally in the face of a threat, or flee? Will a brainwashed villain be allowed to repent? These are interesting ideas that may create storytelling opportunities. Or, depending on the direction of play, the players may never really interact with any of them. Doom still comes for us all.

The Adventure Guide continues in a more mundane direction with random Questgiver/Task/Reason tables, random encounter tables, and just, you know, random tables. Slightly disappointing for a product that could make more use of the GMA deck itself.

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Themed Decks

Now in mixed berry flavor

Themed GMA decks are not mechanically different except in the artwork and the details. The Age of Sail deck tends toward more nautical-themed sensory bits like the smell of sea air, the snap of sails, brass fittings and groaning ropes, that kind of thing. The Fantasy deck adds a few extra mystic auras and orbs to ponder. The Steampunk deck has lots of hissing steam and clanking clattering collections of caliginous cogs. They all follow this general formula. The differences are all in the tone and color. In a pinch, the generic deck works just as well.

But with fewer sweet eyepatch skulls

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Final Thoughts

Catalyst: Mad rantings

If you’ve ever used a game oracle system before (Mythic GM Emulator, One Page Solo, Ironsworn/Starforged/Sundered Isles, etc.), you’ll see that this is … yet another one. The actual “oracle” part of GMA is pretty limited, with only three levels of odds and four-to-six levels of results. Where GMA shines is its all-in-one compactness. It’s a plot generator, an NPC maker, a dice roller, a bucket full of random sensory details (which are unique and surprisingly useful), a map builder, a difficulty selector, a vibe injection system, and even teaches you how to read Norse. What a bargain!

GMA 2e is my current go-to for random adventure action. The combination of concrete detail and pure vibe works well for me. It’s super easy to flip a card and run with it, without having to roll dice or consult tables or even really think about it. Just BAM! “South!” BAM! “Wilbur!” BAM! “Shouted blasphemies!” Detail sorted, on to the fun part.

Worth a try if you like that sort of thing. One point eight thumbs up.

Review the Last of pocket games from the same publisher. See Part 1 for notes on gameplay, or Part 2 for a review of a better game than Part 1. Now let’s finish this up and get out of here.

Big Eyes, Small Brains (BESB)

Writers: L.B. and Samatha Ferreira
Year: 2019
Dimensions: 6¼” x 4” x ⅝”
プレーヤー: 2+
Term for GM: Kami
Term for PC: Avatar
Page count: 310 (yes, you read that right)
Oblique references to real-world anime count: ∞
Comparable media: The entire media output of Japan since 1982

Unlike the other two books, there’s no monolithic setting here. Big Eyes, Small Brains (BESB) is a sandbox full of tropes where you can run around doing anime-inspired buffoonery. That said, there’s still more of an established world in this game than in its namesake and obvious inspiration, Big Eyes, Small Mouth. The rules are neither as comprehensive nor as complex as BESM, yet maybe because of this, they’re better balanced in many ways.

The book is written from the point of view of an isekai’d person from Earth who became the god of the anime world of Abika. This conceit only exists to justify the writing’s meandering, casual-weeb tone. The enormous-eyed, unnaturally-colored-haired people of Abika live their lives as best they can: running late to school with toast in their mouths, dealing with all-powerful student councils, fighting ninjas while wearing maid outfits, fighting alien catgirls at regional festivals, choosing which of six supermodels to date while being a gormless milquetoast, piloting giant space robots right out of grade school, engaging in interminable tournament arcs when the author runs out of ideas, and about anything else you’ve ever seen happen in Japanese teen/YA media.

… Or so I thought at first. It turns out that there’s something like a plot built into the game setting, but you have to wait until page 200 to learn about it. In true BESB style, I’ll leave you in suspense until we get to that part.

The first thing I noticed during my readthrough was how sanitized BESB is compared to the others. There’s not a single “fuck” and only one “shit.” The humor is less transgressive and more genre-focused. There’s still some edge, but it’s greatly diminished. I’d go so far as to say this is less a parody work than a lighthearted spoof of anime fandom.

BESB adds six new Classes to the mix: Senshi (Sailor Power Moon Ranger transforming warriors), Androids (all-rounder characters with an impressive list of interchangeable parts), Combat Butlers/Maids (agile fighters with a cleaning fetish), Heroes (tank-ish swordsmen doing what Himmel would do), Ayakashi (nature yokai filling the cleric role), and Idols (dancing bards with Cyberpunk 2020 Rockerboy vibes). Again, you could port Classes from the other two games in or out if you really wanted to.

Something new here is Traits, which are optional attributes you can apply to your character. This list includes things like Chuunibyo, Crybaby, Family Business, Loli Body (grimace), Nosebleeds, Otaku, Tragic Past, etc. The list reads like anime’s greatest trope hits. These are entirely roleplaying prompts. There’s no bonus for taking them and no penalty for leaving them alone. If they amuse you, go for it.

Otherwise there’s the requisite list of wacky items (Magic Manga Pencil, Harem Whistle, Talking Cat Panties, Phone Charm, Demonic Contract, etc.) and weapons (surprisingly mundane, though there are things like the Bladed Serving Platter and Spiked Stilettos to spice things up).

You can buy cars, trucks, and mecha too. The vehicle and mecha rules are EXTREMELY rudimentary. Mechs are essentially big suits of armor equipped with giant versions of regular weapons. I mean, you don’t really need more than that for goofy Mobile Suit Gundam parodies, but Lancer this is very much not.

There follows a fairly comprehensive list of Foods, like takoyaki and omurice. These can be crafted with Cooking rolls and give minor bonuses upon consumption. It may be the most “anime” thing in this here anime game, and represents a missed opportunity in other games. No rules for cooking monsters, though, which feels like an oversight.

Now we get to the setting, which occupies almost the entire back half of the book. The world of Abika is divided into a number of realms embodying one or more sub-genres of anime. These realms are:

Mitakihara: Rural and/or coastal Japan-alike. Suburbs, safe streets, little shrines, woods, a magic academy, an interdimensional cafe, pretty much everything you’d expect from such a bucolic setting.

Sanzenin: The rich part of town, where most of the Combat Butlers and Maids in the world are employed. Home of the Bouran Academy, an elite school for stuck-up brats with gender confusion issues.

Siak: The wrong side of the tracks. Siak was once the high-tech part of town until the bottom fell out of the market. The BIOME Corporation churns out androids to steal the citizens’ jobs and drive them further into poverty. Gee that doesn’t feel frickin’ prophetic from here in 2026, huh.

Lancastar: The Shibuya neighborhood of Tokyo, expanded into a whole region. Idols and Senshi are thick on the ground here. Home to multiple rival rock’n’roll high schools.

Valis: Where the heroic fantasy happens. Castles, colosseums, adventurer’s guilds, barroom brawls, kidnapped princesses, rampaging dragons. A Hero’s paradise.

Vulkanus: All future war, all the time. This place is lousy with mecha, gleaming postmodernism, and overt fascistic vibes. Lots of ghosts in those machines, if you get my drift. Plenty of crises involving bubblegum, if you know’m sayin’.

Washinomiya: Shinto-land. Big shrines, cherry blossoms, shrine maidens, new years’ festivals, gurus muttering mantras along the side of the road, that kind of thing. The Abika version of the UN is housed here. Ayakashi feel right at home.

Yotsuya: The spoooooky yokai-infested zone. Superstition city. It’d be scarier if the descriptions of the stuff there didn’t remind me of the Ghost Stories English dub.

Fukusaku: Here we finally learn the “plot” of BESB. Years ago, a rogue Senshi named Tack planted himself on top of the tallest mountain in remote Fukusaku and declared war on anyone who wouldn’t bow down to him. In the ensuing struggle, thousands perished. When Tack was finally defeated, his death set off a dead man’s switch. A forbidden spell reduced Fukusaku to a radiation-ravaged hellscape. The rest of Abika abandoned Fukusaku and mages lifted the entire region into the sky. The few survivors there dwindle each day and horrible mutant monsters wander the land.

… Welcome to our fun wacky parody game. Geez. Note that the Fukushima nuclear power plant disaster had happened eight years before this was published. This is so on the nose, it crushed my septum. Every other joke is cartoony clownhammer stuff, then you run into this big clump of dethbludgore. You got your Dorohedoro in my Konosuba.

Luckily the whole war stuff is only mentioned in passing in the other areas, though Fukusaku is still a place characters can visit if they want something other than sunshine and rainbows.

The book ends with over 70 pages of the enemies found in each area. Standouts include the Sadistic Student Council President, Motorcycle Gang Members, Space Pirates, Tween Witches, Kobolds, Ganguro Girls, Yuki-Onnas, and Insane Cultists. Still no intro adventure. That feels a bit weird considering how much space they had, but whatever.

Portability: Same as the other two, just thicker. Definitely has some heft that you can feel. C.

Legibility: They replaced the sans-serif font with a light serif, but it’s still all good. A.

Completeness: This one oddly doesn’t feel any more complete than Laser Metal despite having three times the pages. Therefore this one gets an A- too.

Final thoughts: At 310 pages, BESB is by far the largest pocket RPG out there. In fact we’re probably approaching the theoretical limit of pocket RPG physics. Therefore, you’d think I’d be raving about how stuffed and huge and sprawling this game is. But somehow it still feels … sparse.

A lot of that comes from the game’s breezy writing style. Just like me, the writers of BESB do like to ramble.

There’s a lot of that sort of “wacky” digression. If you picked up the book and squeezed out all those asides like a sponge, the book would lose about a third of its volume.

That’s not necessarily a good thing, either. Without the extra verbiage, you’d start to notice that everything is underbaked. The whole game has a mish-mash feel. Each area in Abika has only three or four landmarks and about four unique enemy types. I’ve reviewed less wordy games with more variety.

And yes, you need to be a weeb to get much enjoyment. Otherwise nearly all the jokes will fly freely, joyfully even, over your head.

If you are a weeb, well, here’s a game. It’s loose and unfocused and imperfect, but you can play it maybe. You and your friends may get a chuckle out of it. With a little work, you could even make it shine. As is, though, it’s a fine start. Just … fine.

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Finally final thoughts: The Attention Span Games pocket series is a mixed bag, to say the least. Conceptually, DnDizzle is too narrow to fill a whole book, while BESB is too broad even despite its relative enormity. Laser Metal strikes the best balance between scope and vision. It’s juuust right.

Are any of them worth owning? That’s very subjective. I’d say DnDizzle requires you to be both REALLY into its subject matter and be easy to please. Laser Metal has a decent universe to play around in, isn’t full of impenetrable in-jokes, and, as it will constantly remind you, is pretty fuckin’ metal. BESB is cute and “for the fans,” but doesn’t have much of a skeleton, so it just flops around. BESB is BYOPlot.

It’s probably telling that only Laser Metal has a published adventure, Too Broke to Rock, that you can nab for a buck off DTRPG. That’s all the support you’re getting. Now go to that ledge and hang off it.

In total? Half a thumb up on one hand, half a thumb down on the other. Focus wherever you want.

The second of three reviews of pocket games from the same publisher. See Part 1 for info about the gameplay, and maybe stay for the review. If you dare.

Laser Metal

Writer: Ron Leota
Year: 2015
Dimensions: 6¼” x 4″ x ¼”
Metalheads: 2+
Term for GM: Metal Master
Term for PC: PC (how disappointing)
Page count: 116
“Laser” count: 72
“Metal” count: 252
Comparable media: Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Judge Dredd (1995), KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

Millennia ago, humanity left a dying Earth to colonize other planets, including the small barren planet of Brutalia. Life on Brutalia was, to coin a phrase, brutal. Humans scrabbling out a life there built fortified cities and skirmished with each other to increase their pieces of the pie. One of these city-states built a giant orbital laser and threatened its neighbors with it. The other city-states didn’t care for this and tried to invade. Half the planet was scorched in the aftermath, and the surviving cities made ready to go to war and finish off the rest of it.

However! A metal band called The Saints of Thrash foresaw that the world was about to end, bought a tract of empty land, hired a bunch of science types who were tired of making WMDs, and built a gigantic dome. When the final war did finally happen, this dome, later known as Arena 66, was about the only thing on the planet that survived.

Then they discovered … The Metal (squealing guitar riff). Somehow, living on the planet Brutalia was changing humanity, giving them powers like telekinesis, raising the dead, shooting lightning from their hands, and otherwise twisting reality. Not everyone can use The Metal, but those who can are practically superheroes. Or at least super-metalheads.

Now, 20 years after the apocalypse, people are emerging from Arena 66 and learning what’s going on out there in the wastelands of Brutalia. Nothing good, generally speaking. But people go out there anyway, mostly to train their combat skills for the biennial Laser Metal Tournament, a literal battle of the bands, to win the right to rule Arena 66 and ride eternal, shiny and chr — whoops, wrong franchise. The players are assumed to be members of one such band, building up life experience to take on the Tournament themselves.

The game proper starts with the Laser Metal Classes: Doom Wailer (screaming bard with a connection to The Metal), Fat Bottom (tank, almost literally), Gun Witch (sneaky gun-fu fighter), Order of Metal Monk (Jedi wielding the power of The Metal, complete with laser swords), and Shred Master (master of destruction, and also pilot for some reason). The Classes are compatible with DnDizzle, in case you wanted to muddle your metal sci-fi with hip-hop fantasy.

Several powers from The Metal are then enumerated, allowing characters to put enemies to sleep, turn blood to ink, steal the life force from everyone around them, and tear open a hole in the sky and rain down hellfire. You know, Tuesday.

Next come lists of equipment, including Guitar Scythes, Rocket Propelled Knives, Jet-Powered Flight Suits, and Ruff the Cyberdog, followed by descriptions of all the internal areas of Arena 66, plus outside places like Arena 69 (giggity), the Church of Gas, Death Row, the Irradiated Wastes, and beyond. Then we get a bunch of adversaries (Cannibal Mutants, Company Men, Deth [sic] Bots, Gas Hunters, Posers, Sellouts, Zombie Pop Fans, etc.). Sadly there’s no adventure included.

So right off the bat, this game world is miles better. If you told me this was the plot of a backup feature in 2000 AD, I wouldn’t question it. The writing has a middling dose of punk attitude, but it’s not insanely annoying. Typefaces are readable, the writing isn’t constantly punching you in the face, and the world is silly but in a far less grating way. It’s a relief.

It’s not perfect, though. For one thing, the game tries too hard to convince us how totally hardcore it is. The author often breaks in to say “now THAT’s fucking METAL” like he’s not entirely sure of it himself. It doesn’t happen all the time, so it’s not as salt-in-your-eyes irritating as DnDizzle got, but it’s a stone drag when it shows up.

Portability: Same size and caveats as DnDizzle. B.

Legibility: Yes. 12-point-ish sans serif for body text, a Gothic-wannabe font for chapter headers, and a thin handwriting font for subheads. Every word is legible. That’s metal as fuck. A.

Completeness: This has lots more world-building than DnDizzle, but at the expense of an intro adventure. That tips this one slightly to the negative. Still a full-fledged game though. A-.

Final thoughts: I’m sure you’ve picked up that I like this one more than its older brother, even though it has the same author. I’m guessing he got some feedback on the first game and actually took it to heart. It’s nice seeing people improve.

There’s also more variety in this one. Laser Metal isn’t just about stretching the One Joke until it disintegrates, it has a living, varied, colorful, semi-cohesive setting. It’s certainly very trope-y, but there are flashes of cleverness in how they fit together. It’s not just random metal gags thrown in a bag and shaken. These random metal gags have been meticulously curated, damn it.

Of these three parody games, I think this one works the best. (Oh, spoilers for the next review, I guess.)

Next time: Big ass, small butts

To finish up my series of pocket TTRPG reviews, I was originally going to write one big review of three similar games. As I dug in, it turned into a monster, since apparently I can’t shut my yap for two seconds. So I’m breaking it into three regular reviews instead. Please! … Enjoy.

In this series we’ll highlight three pocket-sized RPGs, all ostensibly parodies, from the same publisher, Attention Span Games. All the books in this review use similar rules, differing mostly in classes, campaign structure, and tone. Such as it is. You’ll see what I mean.

DnDizzle: Dragons in the Hood; Laser Metal; Big Eyes, Small Brains (BESB)

Other pocket games deal with their small form factor by being innovative in their construction, packaging, and organization. These games, meanwhile, are just … books. Small, flimsy, soft-cover, perfect-bound books, printed in black-and-white on thin matte paper. The sort of books that merely opening them cracks the cover. Being actual books, they have far less need to be economical with their content. Their size fits our format, but it still feels like cheating.

Gameplay: All three games use the same basic rules. Characters have four Stats: Might (or “Strength” in BESB), Agility (“Speed” in BESB), Intelligence (“Brains” in DnDizzle), and a fourth metaphysical stat (“Soul” in DnDizzle, “Metal” in Laser Metal, and “Luck” in BESB, all doing roughly equivalent things). Players divvy up 7 points between these, with a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 3. Most Classes have a preferred Stat, so you probably shouldn’t take, say, the Combat Butler Class if your Speed were too low.

Each book has wildly varying names for their Classes, but they all generally fill classic party roles: the healer, the tank, the mage, the marksman, etc. A character’s beginning Skills (or “Skillz” … yes, thank you, DnDizzle, very droll) are determined by their Class. All Skills/z begin at rank 1, and the character has a number of extra points equal to their INT/Brains score to add to that.

Characters then gain one Ability based on their Class, like the Trigger Man’s Accurate Shot (+1 to hit for all ranged weapons), the Shred Master’s This Cut was the Deepest (+2 damage to melee and laser attacks), or the Idol’s Hypersonic Tune (a damaging sonic blast that can potentially push enemies away from you). You get more Abilities as you level up. Your Class also determines your initial equipment, plus a small amount of the coin of the realm (gold, credits, or Ryo) for accessorizing.

When attempting an action with a chance of failure, players roll 2d6 and add the relevant Stat plus Skill. If they don’t have the right Skill, they just add the Stat -1. Snake eyes is an automatic failure and boxcars is an automatic success. For non-contested rolls, the GM sets the difficulty. If it’s a contested roll, ties go to the defender.

This is a very simple, neat, easy dice resolution method, which also happens to be almost exactly the same as the classic Japanese RPG Sword World. Now I’m not saying the designer lifted the system wholesale, but I’m not not saying it either. (In 2013-ish, when this system was in development, /tg/ was already flogging around partial translations of SW 2.0. However, the rest of this system doesn’t resemble SW that much. I’m willing to give it the benefit of a doubt and chalk this up to some sort of 2d6 carcinization theory.)

When combat breaks out, everyone rolls 2d6 + Agility/Speed + Awareness and acts in descending order. Rounds are 5 seconds long, and characters can move up to 25 feet and perform one item from a pretty standard action list: attack, cast a spell, use a skill or ability, draw a weapon, stand up/lie down, grab something, or take a second 25-foot move. There are no “held actions;” if you do nothing on your turn, you miss out.

Each character has a Defense Rating equal to 5 + their Agility/Speed + any armor bonus (up to +5). A character’s DR defends against every type of attack from guns to spells to laser swords. If an enemy rolls an attack above this number, the character takes damage somewhere between 1d6 and 2d6 + some number, depending on the attack type. At 0 HP, they pass out and will die if they don’t get treatment within as many rounds as their Might/Strength score. Even after all that, they can be revived by anyone with a resurrection-type Ability, but only within the next hour.

Then there are items that affect blah blah, nobody cares, get to the actual games already, you cry. These are parody games, how to roll the dice is secondary. Just tell us about the funny stuff.

Well okay. You asked for it.

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DnDizzle: Dragons in the Hood

Writer: Ron Leota
Year: 2014
Dimensions: 6¼” x 4” x ¼”
Playas: 2+
Term for GM: The Big Pimp (BP)
Term for PC: OG
Page count: 112
“Motherfucker” count: 79
Comparable media: Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood, Bright (non-laudatory)

In the ancient hood known as Comptonia —

Okay, yeah. That’s the level we’re on. Soak that in a second. Now let’s continue.

In Comptonia, all was chill under the enlightened rule of King Pimperton, the illest motherfucker in all the land. Everyone loved him and his fly honey of a daughter, Princess Fabula. Then one night, a big-ass snake motherfucker called the Black Dragon pulled up, straight wrecked Comptonia, and flew off with hella dolla dolla bills y’all, and, weaker still, the princess.

The king put out a hit on the Black Dragon, offering his daughter’s hand in marriage to whatever smooth OG could lock her down back home. All the big ballas of the kingdom turned out to punk the Black Dragon’s ass. Just when it looked like they were going to win, the Dragon called up his homies and everyone bailed before a flood of wack-ass monsters.

Meanwhile, the princess, hella mad that her daddy offered her up to the first golddigger to come along, went thug and dipped into the Big Ass Forest.

Now Comptonia’s all kinds of fucked up, and only the hardest OGs will be able to regulate the monsters, take back the hood, and bring the pain to that Black Dragon motherfucker once and for all.

I shall now present a direct quote from the book:

“Now it’s time for you to go forth! Cry, ‘thug life!’ and let slip the gats of war; just don’t be caught trippin’.”

All right. So. How did the previous section make you feel? A little second-hand embarrassment, maybe? Like you’re looking through a twisted portal at the thinnest veneer of 1990s-era hip-hop culture? About as hard as Vanilla Ice?

That’s this book’s one single joke.

The actual rules are presented in a clear straightforward style. But everything, and I mean every pig-friggin’ thing, is accompanied by running commentary by a character called “Fat Warrior” who uses thick wannabe gangsta speak. I’d estimate half the text in this book is Fat Warrior’s incessant, pointless fronting. I mean look at this shit:

I’ll get to that awful font later. But gee Zeus. There are whole entire chapters that are nothing but Fat Warrior rambling on (and on and on) in this tone. It’s not even creatively done; by about the fortieth “motherfucker” the word had lost all meaning. The lack of chill, as they say on the streets, is palpable as all fuck.

This ragged cloak of hip-hop sensibility has been draped over the whole game, from its Classes (Doc [cleric], Freestyler [bard], Jacker [rogue], Street Magician [mage], Thug [fighter], Trigger Man [ranger]) to its equipment (Low-Rider Carriage, Sack of Holding Shit, Pimp Cane of Control) to its monsters (Crazy Ho, Weak-Ass Goblin, Ghetto Leprechaun, Medusafarian … okay that one’s funny). There’s a history of Comptonia which is essentially “we had a great pimp king, then a bad stoner king, and now it’s today,” a list of “interesting” citizen stereotypes, and a sample adventure, “King Smokey’s Secret Stash.” Then the book ends, which is my favorite part.

Portability: It actually fits the pocket quite well, even when you add 2d6, some copies of the character sheet, and a pencil. The book is a bit fragile, so don’t run a marathon with it in your pocket. B.

Legibility: The regular rules are easy to read, in a decently sized sans-serif font, with excellent spacing. Fat Warrior’s narrative text, on the other hand, is beyond awful. It’s some kind of bizarre cursive (?) typeface with enormous ascenders and descenders and horrible kerning that makes letters tend to blend together. Even that wouldn’t be a complete deal-breaker if there weren’t whole chapters of this shit. Honestly. D.

Completeness: It is at least a whole game. With as much space as they have, it would be weird not to be. This is the one thing I can’t complain about. A.

Final thoughts: Who is this game for? Well, I’d expect people who love (and I mean loooove) West Coast urban culture would get a kick out of the slang, repetitive though it may be. Obsessive collectors (raises hand sheepishly) would feel bad not having it. Cultural and linguistic anthropologists might get something out of it. People who really like fucking mothers, maybe? I’m kinda stretching here.

You may be thinking that my objection to this game is that I don’t like hip-hop (extremely untrue) or I’m clutching my pearls at the content (somewhat untrue; there’s some bits that feel like it’s making fun of the culture instead of having fun with it. But shit, man, I’ve been on the internet for 35 years, you think I’m gonna balk at tone?). No, my absolute, overriding objection is that this is a comedy game that stops being funny around page 5. Unforgivable. Off with its head.

Big-ass motherfuckin’ nope from me, homies. Peace out.

Next time: You’re killin’ me, Smalls

One more entry for my review mini-series about RPG adventures that fit in your pocket. See Part One for the money, Part Two for the show, and Part Three to get ready. Now, here we go.

Bookmark No-HP RPG (Compleat Bundle)

Publisher: Lester Smith Games
Year: 2021
Dimensions: 2½” x 3½” (poker card size) or 6″ x 1½” (bookmark size) x ¼”
Players: 2-10

(In the tone of “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha”): Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy! That’s all these pocket games are! If only someone would come save us from all these swords and sorcerers! They’re knee-deep! The neighbors are starting to complain!

Bookmark No-HP RPG comes in two formats, bookmarks or cards, either of which satisfy the size constraint of these reviews. The bookmark format is slightly larger, but they’re functionally identical. You can only get the card version PoD from DriveThruRPG, so that’s what I’m working with. You’ll also need at least one full set of polyhedral dice and (once again) a pencil or equivalent.

Gameplay: The game takes the bolt-on approach. One bookmark/card describes the underlying system for everyone, the players get their own “guidebookmark,” and the Game Host (that is, the GM) gets a third. All of them together explain how everything works. (It wouldn’t hurt for everyone to read all three, but you know how players are.) This basic setup is extended with genre cards, described below. The bundle also comes with a “battle bookmark” describing an “advanced” combat system, plus nine blank character cards.

The rules are a convoluted form of generic. Every character has a Vocation, like Fighter or Detective. Vocations can be literally any job or lifestyle you can imagine, and are assumed to come with everything you need; equipment is Not A Thing. Characters also have four Attributes: Brawn, Grace, Will, and Wits. Players divvy up d4, d6, d8, and d10 between these.

To perform an action, the Game Host assigns a Difficulty from 1 to 10. The player then rolls one of their Attributes’ dice that many times. (A player can use any Attribute for any action if they can come up with a reasonable explanation for it, unless that Attribute is exhausted [see below].) If any of these die rolls are a 1, the action fails. Otherwise it succeeds. The degree of success or failure depends on the highest die in your series of rolls, so you’ll want to roll the full number of times even if you fail early.

If a roll fails, reduce that Attribute’s die by one step (d8 becomes d6, for instance). If you fail on a d4 roll, that Attribute is exhausted and you have to rest to use it again. If the roll succeeds and at least one roll is maximum (e.g. rolling an 8 on d8), the die increases one step, usually to a maximum of d12. If you max-success-roll with a d12, you get a Boon, like a new weapon, an ally, a book of spells, etc. Characters can save six Boons and trade them in for a Trait, essentially a permanent piece of equipment, as a way to level up.

Sometimes you’ll come up against a high Difficulty and don’t want to risk a stat by rolling a zillion times. In this case, you can gamble either your Vocation, a Trait, or one of your Boons, which halves the Difficulty. If you fail this reduced roll, you exhaust whatever you gambled. Exhausting a Vocation or Trait is meant to simulate a loss of face, a power-down, a crisis of faith, or similar. You get exhausted Vocations and Traits back after rest and reflection. Exhausted Boons are gone for good.

The gambling and exhaustion stuff take the place of HP in this, the No-HP RPG. Death is story-driven. Either you or the Game Host can declare you dead if you fail a particularly deadly action with a particularly poor roll, but you’re not beholden to. Mostly your survivability depends on how far you can push your bullshit rationalizations to stay alive.

So let’s unpack the die rolling thing here. Obviously it’s best to roll your highest Attribute, especially for low Difficulty actions, to quickly max out your die and start generating Boons. The chance of failure goes up rapidly at the low end, but levels off for higher Difficulties.

The gambling mechanic is a neat way to mitigate this, though a starting character with no Boons and cold dice could easily shoot their wad early and then stumble along, shedding dice levels until something really bad happens. Note that, RAW, resting during an adventure doesn’t reset your dice levels, though it does restore any d4’s you’ve exhausted. The best you can hope for is a hot streak to build them back up.

The genre cards toss a few spins on top of this formula.

• “Swords and Spellbookmarks” add Heroic and Arcane character types. Heroes can perform Epic Actions which bump up their die type, and Arcanists cast Charms, Spells, and Sorcery, with increasing risk/reward structures for each.
• “Bookmark the Stars!” gives everyone Species and Homeworlds with unique abilities and liabilities, and rules to generate a shared spaceship for the team to travel in.
• “Bookmark Cyberpunk” has an alternate character generation system that gives you up to a d20 as a stat, cybernetic Traits, and hacking rules.
• “No-HP Supers!” replaces your Vocation with a Super Identity and an Alter Ego (which gets exposed if exhausted). It also adds super powers, of which you can take as many as you’d like. However, you have an additional risk of exhausting the one you’re using if you roll less than your current number of powers on a d20.
• “Bookmark Cthulhu” adds the Dread Attribute, which increases as you encounter Things Man was Not Meant to Know until you go buggo and melt your face off or explode or something.
• “Dracula’s Get!” makes all the PCs into vampires, with all their classic powers and a powerful thirst for that veiny good-good. I’m sorry. I’ll never say that again.
• “Paranormal Wordbookmark” gives everyone their choice of a psychic gift based on one of their Attributes, and then … they just go around being psychic, I guess. There’s nothing more to the card than that.

The rules don’t say anything about mixing and matching multiple genre cards, but there’s nothing stopping you either. I’ll allow it, but don’t tell your mom.

Pocket fit: The Compleat Bundle is 20 poker-sized cards and/or bookmarks, which have small but detectable mass in the pocket. You’ll also need your dice bag and something to write with, which adds most of the bulk. Still not much. C+ and I’m being kinda mean about it.

Legibility: The rules cards are quite readable for their size, and the bookmark versions are even better for their larger text. Every genre card has its own typography, which is mostly fine, but the sci-fi and cyberpunk cards are printed as white text on dark backgrounds. The sci-fi card has a sort of mottled space nebula background with red highlights, and the cyberpunk one has a light geometric font which would be hard to read in any case.

Everything else is fine, though. B overall, with a couple C-’s in there dragging the average down.

Completeness: There’s no adventure generator or particular game world, but the rules do cover a wide swath of whatever you might want to do. The Game Host card has a tiny “crafting adventures” section which is insultingly rudimentary. There are published adventure sets if you don’t want to be creative. Otherwise this is mostly a toolkit to build your own world on top of. B-.

Final thoughts: I like this one, though more for its audaciousness than for the actual system. In my experience, the dice mechanic is initially difficult to get through to some players. Once a player gets it, it does seem to stick, luckily. The multi-genre thing is a huge breath of fresh air after all those Tolkiens with the numbers filed off. It is a little undetailed in its base form, which is weird to say about a system this comparatively large.

In the end, though, it’s not hard to have fun with, which is all you can really ask for.

The Bookmark No-HP RPG Compleat Bundle is $20 on DTRPG, which includes PDFs and physical cards. If you don’t want the whole passel, they also have “cut-up solo” bundles which include the base rules, one genre card, and one or more sourcebooks for a more in-depth experience. That takes away my complaint about a lack of campaign structure, but also moves it beyond the realm of “pocket RPG,” so [OUT OF BOUNDS ERROR]

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Next time: Just one last little thing