Review the Last of pocket games from the same publisher. See Part 1 for notes on gameplay, or Part 2 for a review of a better game than Part 1. Now let’s finish this up and get out of here.
Big Eyes, Small Brains (BESB)
Writers: L.B. and Samatha Ferreira
Year: 2019
Dimensions: 6¼” x 4” x ⅝”
プレーヤー: 2+
Term for GM: Kami
Term for PC: Avatar
Page count: 310 (yes, you read that right)
Oblique references to real-world anime count: ∞
Comparable media: The entire media output of Japan since 1982
Unlike the other two books, there’s no monolithic setting here. Big Eyes, Small Brains (BESB) is a sandbox full of tropes where you can run around doing anime-inspired buffoonery. That said, there’s still more of an established world in this game than in its namesake and obvious inspiration, Big Eyes, Small Mouth. The rules are neither as comprehensive nor as complex as BESM, yet maybe because of this, they’re better balanced in many ways.
The book is written from the point of view of an isekai’d person from Earth who became the god of the anime world of Abika. This conceit only exists to justify the writing’s meandering, casual-weeb tone. The enormous-eyed, unnaturally-colored-haired people of Abika live their lives as best they can: running late to school with toast in their mouths, dealing with all-powerful student councils, fighting ninjas while wearing maid outfits, fighting alien catgirls at regional festivals, choosing which of six supermodels to date while being a gormless milquetoast, piloting giant space robots right out of grade school, engaging in interminable tournament arcs when the author runs out of ideas, and about anything else you’ve ever seen happen in Japanese teen/YA media.
… Or so I thought at first. It turns out that there’s something like a plot built into the game setting, but you have to wait until page 200 to learn about it. In true BESB style, I’ll leave you in suspense until we get to that part.
The first thing I noticed during my readthrough was how sanitized BESB is compared to the others. There’s not a single “fuck” and only one “shit.” The humor is less transgressive and more genre-focused. There’s still some edge, but it’s greatly diminished. I’d go so far as to say this is less a parody work than a lighthearted spoof of anime fandom.
BESB adds six new Classes to the mix: Senshi (Sailor Power Moon Ranger transforming warriors), Androids (all-rounder characters with an impressive list of interchangeable parts), Combat Butlers/Maids (agile fighters with a cleaning fetish), Heroes (tank-ish swordsmen doing what Himmel would do), Ayakashi (nature yokai filling the cleric role), and Idols (dancing bards with Cyberpunk 2020 Rockerboy vibes). Again, you could port Classes from the other two games in or out if you really wanted to.
Something new here is Traits, which are optional attributes you can apply to your character. This list includes things like Chuunibyo, Crybaby, Family Business, Loli Body (grimace), Nosebleeds, Otaku, Tragic Past, etc. The list reads like anime’s greatest trope hits. These are entirely roleplaying prompts. There’s no bonus for taking them and no penalty for leaving them alone. If they amuse you, go for it.
Otherwise there’s the requisite list of wacky items (Magic Manga Pencil, Harem Whistle, Talking Cat Panties, Phone Charm, Demonic Contract, etc.) and weapons (surprisingly mundane, though there are things like the Bladed Serving Platter and Spiked Stilettos to spice things up).
You can buy cars, trucks, and mecha too. The vehicle and mecha rules are EXTREMELY rudimentary. Mechs are essentially big suits of armor equipped with giant versions of regular weapons. I mean, you don’t really need more than that for goofy Mobile Suit Gundam parodies, but Lancer this is very much not.
There follows a fairly comprehensive list of Foods, like takoyaki and omurice. These can be crafted with Cooking rolls and give minor bonuses upon consumption. It may be the most “anime” thing in this here anime game, and represents a missed opportunity in other games. No rules for cooking monsters, though, which feels like an oversight.
Now we get to the setting, which occupies almost the entire back half of the book. The world of Abika is divided into a number of realms embodying one or more sub-genres of anime. These realms are:
Mitakihara: Rural and/or coastal Japan-alike. Suburbs, safe streets, little shrines, woods, a magic academy, an interdimensional cafe, pretty much everything you’d expect from such a bucolic setting.
Sanzenin: The rich part of town, where most of the Combat Butlers and Maids in the world are employed. Home of the Bouran Academy, an elite school for stuck-up brats with gender confusion issues.
Siak: The wrong side of the tracks. Siak was once the high-tech part of town until the bottom fell out of the market. The BIOME Corporation churns out androids to steal the citizens’ jobs and drive them further into poverty. Gee that doesn’t feel frickin’ prophetic from here in 2026, huh.
Lancastar: The Shibuya neighborhood of Tokyo, expanded into a whole region. Idols and Senshi are thick on the ground here. Home to multiple rival rock’n’roll high schools.
Valis: Where the heroic fantasy happens. Castles, colosseums, adventurer’s guilds, barroom brawls, kidnapped princesses, rampaging dragons. A Hero’s paradise.
Vulkanus: All future war, all the time. This place is lousy with mecha, gleaming postmodernism, and overt fascistic vibes. Lots of ghosts in those machines, if you get my drift. Plenty of crises involving bubblegum, if you know’m sayin’.
Washinomiya: Shinto-land. Big shrines, cherry blossoms, shrine maidens, new years’ festivals, gurus muttering mantras along the side of the road, that kind of thing. The Abika version of the UN is housed here. Ayakashi feel right at home.
Yotsuya: The spoooooky yokai-infested zone. Superstition city. It’d be scarier if the descriptions of the stuff there didn’t remind me of the Ghost Stories English dub.
Fukusaku: Here we finally learn the “plot” of BESB. Years ago, a rogue Senshi named Tack planted himself on top of the tallest mountain in remote Fukusaku and declared war on anyone who wouldn’t bow down to him. In the ensuing struggle, thousands perished. When Tack was finally defeated, his death set off a dead man’s switch. A forbidden spell reduced Fukusaku to a radiation-ravaged hellscape. The rest of Abika abandoned Fukusaku and mages lifted the entire region into the sky. The few survivors there dwindle each day and horrible mutant monsters wander the land.
… Welcome to our fun wacky parody game. Geez. Note that the Fukushima nuclear power plant disaster had happened eight years before this was published. This is so on the nose, it crushed my septum. Every other joke is cartoony clownhammer stuff, then you run into this big clump of dethbludgore. You got your Dorohedoro in my Konosuba.
Luckily the whole war stuff is only mentioned in passing in the other areas, though Fukusaku is still a place characters can visit if they want something other than sunshine and rainbows.
The book ends with over 70 pages of the enemies found in each area. Standouts include the Sadistic Student Council President, Motorcycle Gang Members, Space Pirates, Tween Witches, Kobolds, Ganguro Girls, Yuki-Onnas, and Insane Cultists. Still no intro adventure. That feels a bit weird considering how much space they had, but whatever.
Portability: Same as the other two, just thicker. Definitely has some heft that you can feel. C.
Legibility: They replaced the sans-serif font with a light serif, but it’s still all good. A.
Completeness: This one oddly doesn’t feel any more complete than Laser Metal despite having three times the pages. Therefore this one gets an A- too.
Final thoughts: At 310 pages, BESB is by far the largest pocket RPG out there. In fact we’re probably approaching the theoretical limit of pocket RPG physics. Therefore, you’d think I’d be raving about how stuffed and huge and sprawling this game is. But somehow it still feels … sparse.
A lot of that comes from the game’s breezy writing style. Just like me, the writers of BESB do like to ramble.
There’s a lot of that sort of “wacky” digression. If you picked up the book and squeezed out all those asides like a sponge, the book would lose about a third of its volume.
That’s not necessarily a good thing, either. Without the extra verbiage, you’d start to notice that everything is underbaked. The whole game has a mish-mash feel. Each area in Abika has only three or four landmarks and about four unique enemy types. I’ve reviewed less wordy games with more variety.
And yes, you need to be a weeb to get much enjoyment. Otherwise nearly all the jokes will fly freely, joyfully even, over your head.
If you are a weeb, well, here’s a game. It’s loose and unfocused and imperfect, but you can play it maybe. You and your friends may get a chuckle out of it. With a little work, you could even make it shine. As is, though, it’s a fine start. Just … fine.
Finally final thoughts: The Attention Span Games pocket series is a mixed bag, to say the least. Conceptually, DnDizzle is too narrow to fill a whole book, while BESB is too broad even despite its relative enormity. Laser Metal strikes the best balance between scope and vision. It’s juuust right.
Are any of them worth owning? That’s very subjective. I’d say DnDizzle requires you to be both REALLY into its subject matter and be easy to please. Laser Metal has a decent universe to play around in, isn’t full of impenetrable in-jokes, and, as it will constantly remind you, is pretty fuckin’ metal. BESB is cute and “for the fans,” but doesn’t have much of a skeleton, so it just flops around. BESB is BYOPlot.
It’s probably telling that only Laser Metal has a published adventure, Too Broke to Rock, that you can nab for a buck off DTRPG. That’s all the support you’re getting. Now go to that ledge and hang off it.
In total? Half a thumb up on one hand, half a thumb down on the other. Focus wherever you want.
