Tales from the Cruise
I went to work for a couple of days this week. BOOOORING. Thus I shall amuse myself by recounting random things from the cruise. Follow along if you wish.
- We met a nice young couple from Finland who unfortunately had unpronounceable Nordic names. Seriously. Like some sort of exotic bird call rather than sounds created by any human mouth. So my wife and I started privately calling them “Rolf and Inga.” If by an amazing coincidence one of you happens to be reading this: Even if we did ever learn your names we’d still call you “Rolf and Inga.” Sorry. It has momentum now. You’ll never escape it.
- A big “thank you” to the tour guide lady in Belize whose name was something like Ngosi for introducing the delightful phrases “You better Belize it!” and “UnBelizeable!” to my wife’s everyday vocabulary. No really. Thank you SO FREAKING MUCH.
- Despite all medical evidence, it is demonstrably possible for a human being to eat for 16 hours straight.
- Apparently I’m allergic to Neutrogena Fresh Cooling sunblock. I’ve been wanting to scratch the rash on my legs with a gardening trowel for over a week. Good thing I have the sand flea bites to distract me.
- My wife gets a little huffy when I take pictures of an attractive woman’s butt. Who knew?
- I couldn’t tan if you painted me with tan house paint. Burn, sure; tan, no.
- Street musicians in the Caribbean seemingly have no trouble when strange people walk up and start playing their instruments. Shipboard musicians, on the other hand, freak out when anyone comes within fifty feet of their stuff.
- Don’t try the conch nuggets. Get anything else. Trust me.