Scandalous and sassy

There’s a mini-controversy going on at my work about people reading each others’ blogs and using personal information for leverage in the complex and subtle intrigue of office politics, or else just being creepy stalkers. I started looking over my previous entries and realized that, hey, I don’t have any juicy information here that anyone could use to blackmail me or others at my workplace. This post is an attempt to rectify that. My blog is for everyone. Don’t want to disappoint the creeps!

  • Man, there’s this one guy at work. You know the sort of guy I’m talking about. Yeah. Man.
  • My best friend at work is a woman. And we’re both married! For that matter, one of my best friends in college was a married woman too, only back then, I was single!
  • At a previous employer, I knew a person who was a complete jerk. He’d just walk by me, and I’d think, “What a jerk!” I didn’t say it out loud, though, because that’s rude and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But I was sure thinking it. LOUDLY.
  • There are a lot of attractive women at my work. No joke there. Just bragging.
  • You know that one person? Totally sleeping with someone. Probably their spouse, but you can never be sure.
  • People who read other people’s emails without their permission should be killed with a pitchfork.
  • I went over to my recently departed coworker’s desk and took her ergonomic mouse pad. Up tha powah!
  • Despite all evidence to the contrary, I’ve recently come to believe that some of the people I work with may actually have genitals. I try not to think about that one too much.
  • I once ate an entire slim young gay Thai hooker. No, wait, what was it again? Oh yeah, an entire pie.

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