Hello clueless

Since I’m not in enough trouble at work, I shall continue to blog about it.

There’s nothing quite so amazing as somebody who looks at a program which took months to write, somebody who was intimately involved in its creation and knows how hard you worked on it, and says, “We need you to make an enormous change, and we need it in three days.” There’s a certain beauty in that, like zooming endlessly into a fractal, layers upon layers of crystalized stupidity. Think about the opening scene of the movie “Innerspace.” Remember that? How we start out looking at a weird warped smear of colors, and we start to pull back, and back, and back, while the credits roll, until you realize we’re looking at an extreme close-up of an ice cube in a shot glass? Well, as far as this project goes, we’re still in the ice-cavern stage. The blunt totality of the dumbness won’t hit us for a few days yet.

This has happened a lot lately. Apparently we have a reputation as miracle workers, which I suppose isn’t such a bad thing because it keeps the non-techies in line. And most of the time we DO toss out solutions when people come to us with semi-trivial problems which don’t take any time to fix when you know what you’re doing. But then a project comes along which can be described in one sentence, like “Give everyone on this list a free widget.” Say, that’s a simple concept that even we non-techies can grasp. Surely it will take no time at all to implement! I’ll just whack a short deadline on that and toss it over to the IT department and WHOA WHY DID THEY START FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

Ah well. Nine times out of ten it’s a good gig. But that tenth time … that damn tenth time … :argh:

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